My ex husband and I have been separated for almost 18 months and he has given me the divorce paperwork to fill out (for both of us). My question tho - is it wrong to keep his surname or should I go back to my maiden name. We have 3 children together and they all have their fathers last name. I feel like I should revert back to my maiden name once I’m divorced but my married name is who I identify as.....my children will keep their surname but I don’t know what to do - any advice please????
10 Replies
I think this is different for everyone. My Mum kept her married name as she had that name longer than her maiden name, it was her name and who she was. If I had married my ex and had his name I would have changed my name when we split up. He was abusive and his name reminds me of him and I would not have wanted to carry it around. Whatever you decide is OK, there's no wrong or right just don't let your ex make you think you have no right to keep the name as it is just as much your name as it his, he doesn't own it.
I have lots of divorced friends who still use their married names. I personally wouldn't, but i know lots that do! There is no right or wrong answer as its personal to you alone.
I'd keep my married name but it's the name I've had the longest and it's who I am now.
I would go back to my maiden name. You are not his wife so shouldn’t carry his name. If the children having the same last name as you is important then add it to their last name they already have
He doesn't own the name. When people legally change their name it is theirs. It is a separate process to marriage, the days are over where the woman is "given" the man's surname, it's done by choice. Men need to grow up and realise this before thinking it's their name that they can give and take as they please.
And she can’t just change her kids names with our dads permission. So not that easy!
I’m sure the kids father would agree to have her name added to their whole name. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. I just don’t believe if the marriage ends you should want to keep the married name.
It's your name keep it if you feel that's right for you. You just don't go by Mrs, use miss or ms.
Do what you want. My sister kept his name until her kids were adults.
My aunt kept his name because she had built a business profile etc that involved his last name.
There is no right or wrong. It’s just a name.
Divorce 3 years now, I still use my exes last name. It’s the name I relate to the most and the one I have completed my degrees in x