My partner and I are a blended family and both divorced. We intend to be together forever but not marry. We are fully committed to each other but given our previous failed marriages we've both just lost the desire to formally marry. But we would likely still have a celebration of love kind of ceremony some day.
What are the legal things we should do to ensure we have the same rights as a married couple? For ourselves and our blended children. (I freakin adore his children and would move heaven and earth for them and he mine).
And does anyone feel we would be seen as 'less than or 'not as legitimate' as a married couple.
7 Replies
Nothing wrong woth just staying Defacto.
Defacto partnerships ( also known as common law husbands and wives ) have the same rights as marriage after a few years together ( in some states its 6 months).
Have your ceremony of love event, that sounds beautuful, dress up like its your wedding, and change your name to his legally via deedpoll if you want to combine names like in marriages too ( or his to yours or hypenated or whatever you desire).
You can be each others next of kin for anything and everything you choose. No need for marriage paper work for that.
All these things are plenty to still have a legally binding relationship without the paperwork. As it becomss legally binding in the event of a split.
As for his children, that doesn't change, even in an actual marriage. His kids will always be his and not legally yours unless the mother consents to it via adoption, and even then its up to the law to agree with it. ( i have adopted b4 ) There is nothing otherwise legally binding you to his kids so you won't get any rights over them.
Oh no. I dont need to adopt them. They have a wonderful mum of their own but i wanted to be sure that his children were cared for financially and so on and I suppose have the same feeling of 'step parent's without a marriage. But i guess that's a relationship thing anyway and not aligned to the piece of paper with marriage. I think my desire for a ceremony is mostly about the line in the sand that tells the world and these kids that I'm gonna love them forever and its not just me and their dad But me and them. And he with mine visa versa. All of us. Coming together now until forever.
A marriage is just a piece of paper. It doesn’t change the relationship. It doesn’t guarantee a healthy or long lasting relationship.
In Australia we have excellent de facto laws.
I'm gonna chime in here against the grain.
My parents were defacto for almost 30 years.
When she claimed his super and life insurance when he died last year she had to provide 3 contacts that had known them for 10+ years to verify their relationship purely because they werent married. This obviously delayed a very time sensitive process.
I know that here in SA you can have a registered partnership which I believe (not 100% sure) equates to the same rights as marriage.
I have never married and am on my second long term relationship. Legally, there's not much difference to a married couple. The only things that affected me was I could not claim my exes super because of outdated laws here in WA which I'm pretty sure has been changed now. The other thing was when applying to CSA for the first time I had to provide birth certificates for our kids to prove both of us were on there, if we were married and I had his surname I wouldn't have had to. They are literally the only 2 things. I didn't even plan on claiming his super anyway so I don't see either of those things as a big deal. I just dont see the point in getting married, it is just a bit of paper.
I'm going to be really honest. But I would think it was a bit weird if there was a couple who were in their 80s and been together for so many years but only referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend or partner and not husband and wife. But ultimately it is up to you. I don't think legally there is much difference.
We had been in a committed relationship for 13 when we eloped. A big wedding wasn't for us but we wanted the commitment of a marriage.
I have also heard some horror stories of family members not letting the defacto partner at the hospital or the defacto partner having no say in care or decisions in turning off life support or getting to say goodbye to their long term partner.
I would definitely look into Power of Attorney or how to make your partner your legal Next of Kin or just Elope