What now?

Hi IM’s

Warning.... possible trigger warning.

Hi IM’s, I’m needing your advice please.
My relationship with my partner has been a rocky and tiresome one. I’ve had enough and looking at getting out so I’m needing your ‘to-do’ list of what I would need to do to get all of my ducks in a row (so to speak) to make it as easy as possible on all involved. Sorry, this may be a bit long.

Backstory....
Been together 12 years, married (overseas and not recognised here) for nearly 11 years. We have 3 children together, a 9yo boy, a 7yo girl and a 18mo girl.
In that time there has been an abundance of abuse of many kinds: physical (in the first few years), mental, emotional, financial. You name it, I’ve been through it. I stuck with him because of the kids and because it was easier to be weak and stay. So lately he has become more nasty and selfish, like really bad. With my last pregnancy I had a lot of complications, GD, Bub stopped growing, turned breach at 36 weeks, bubs heart rate was really high, my BP was crazy high. I was on countless needles and tablets for various things till she was born. When I was 37wks his dad took a turn for the worst and he had to go overseas to be with him. I was being induced at 38wks and he was going to be back by then. So his dad passed away 3days before I went to hospital to be induced, needless to say he stayed another 2.5 weeks (which I don’t regret because I would do the same). I had a tough hospital stay. Bub was born sick and stopped breathing a couple of times, had a bad infection and a few other things. We stayed with my mum for 2 weeks till my partner came home. When he got home it was me looking after him. Me supporting him and being there when he needed me. So 3 months later he harassed me to get some money from my mum to renovate our house so his mum could come and stay cos she needed to be with someone, so I did and we did. Then his mum and sister came, sister left after a month. His mum stayed for a further 4 months, she doesn’t speak a word of English and I don’t speak much of her language. Don’t get me wrong, I adore his family but after the previous few months I was getting tired and emotional. So while MIL was still here we moved interstate (from a house we own) for his job and we are back in my home town. That I’m itself was an interesting experience. He didn’t tell MIL till 2 days before we moved and he only did cos I yelled at him. When we moved I was told I was only allowed out of the house to do the shopping, the school run and to work so I haven’t been able to make any friends or get involved with playgroups other anything. 9 months ago my stepdad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, a massive shock for everyone. So 2 days after finding out, he asked me how I was going, I told him I was struggling. He told me to suck it up and that everyone dies and he (my partner) will soon Hopefully. I lost it, in my time of need this is what I get. So a month or 2 later my mum tells me they are moving closer to be with family for support, totally understandable, so I told my partner and the first thing that comes out of his mouth was ‘that’s ok, we are moving 900kms away anyway’. I’m sorry... WTF?!?! Since then I don’t feel anything anymore. So 6 mths on and my health has since deteriorated but I’m now in the care of an awesome medical team who are determined to help me get my life and health back on track, and will support me through everything, including my stepdads sickness too. The kids have also suffered immensely because of everything too. He doesn’t have much of a relationship with them and when he does he is angry about something and yelling at someone. He hides in his man cave most of the time and only comes in to eat and sleep most days. The kids have also started not wanting to come home when we visit my parents and they have even made a plan for us to leave and they never want to see him again (they did it themselves one day after a big fight). Through everything I have copped criticism and a lot of verbal abuse from bringing up the past to complaining about absolutely everything, and now the kids are starting to really suffer. We need to get out before the stress kills me and my kids suffer irreparable damage. All of this is only a very small part of everything and hopefully it makes sense.

What do I do? My family want me out and I am planning on leaving. I just don’t know what steps to take and how to make it happen.
Please help!!!

Thank you from one very tired, emotional mum xx