So, I've had a huge realisation over the weekend. My 'partner' isn't my partner. He is my roommate. We started as 'friends with benefits', then both his roommates moved out at the end of his lease and he moved in with me "temporarily", until we fell pregnant... So he moved in with me permanently. Now we're 3 kids deep and I've just realised I've been nothing more than a roommate to him, and now I'm nothing to him but his personal housekeeper.
He's been on plenty of holidays with his mates, but none with his family. Never includes me in anything he does. Was invited on a group holiday, with 2 other couples but he chose to take a guy friend with him, because "it sounds like a gay couples convention". He has no respect for me. Asks me where his "clean work clothes are". He treats everything like a business transaction and not a family partnership. I pay him rent to live in 'his house' as he calls it, because it's in his name, because he saved for the deposit (while I was looking after his baby). He tells me often "it's not my house, it'll never be my house, you're just here to clean it". We don't have a joint account. Everything is separate. It feels like he permanently has one foot out the door. It feels like he never progressed from roommates and is happy with the arrangement we've fallen into, where I do everything around the house for him and the kids. I've tried along for more help, but get made to feel bad. Like I'm failing as a mum. He tells me I should be able to do this. Didn't you think it would be this hard. Everyone else can do it. Why can't you. If I complain or as for help, I'm made to feel like shit. I feel like I've wasted the last 10 years old my life loving and being invested in someone who clearly saw me as nothing but "the help"
What do I do??
What do I do??
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
Oh that's exactly what my cunt of an ex said to me too! It's like they have a textbook... my advice is get out, you're clearly very unhappy.
You leave. He doesn’t help, you are financially independent, so make plans to leave and build the life you do want.
Don’t waste another second on this jerk.
Well isn’t he going to be surprised when you will get at least half the house, can’t wait to see the smug look wipe off his face.
Take him to the cleaners lovely, he’s a jerk.
Don’t focus on wasting ten years, you got your beautiful babies, on and up.
Given how this relationship started I'm not entirely surprised that this is how it turned out. Realistically the only reason he stayed was because you had a kid. The sooner you realise this the easier it will be for you to take the steps to make yourself happier whatever that may be.
It’s not too late to find yourself. Time to leave, discover who you are, love yourself and your amazing talents then the right loving man will come along.
You’re already paying as if you’re single anyway. Find a place and find yourself.
Get out, seek legal advice. Not your house? Pffft, not how law will see it. He will be in for quite a shock.
You will be able to find someone who will love you, keep you safe, take you away on holidays. Unlike him.
Sorry to be blunt. Im so over seeing people being used like this. Not just women.
You definitely deserve better hun.
You know what’s worse than wasting 10 years of your life with this ass hat, wasting 10 years and one day with this ass hat! GET OUT! read this to yourself again and tell me what your advice would be to this person if it wasn’t you! Yeah. You know the answer!!
This is what happens when you get a fuckbuddy pregnant and try and make a family with someone you never saw as more than a shag. You are now entitled to more than half of his house, his super, his savings, and he will have to pay you child support while you receive a pension and family tax