My marriage is in its death throes but he refuses to move out and I pay every single bill including mortgage so I am not moving. I have reduced my work hours to take my child to school and back every day as he has “done enough” but then he cracks it because she “barely talks to him anymore” then he accuses me of alienating him when he has done it to himself as all he does is play on a computer all day and ignore everyone. He refuses to contribute to household expenses and “lends” money but never pays it back. I have just had to pay out money for a winter uniform plus I paid for his dogs vet bill ($2500) because he said to our child I wanted the dog dead because I wouldn’t agree to pay it initially and when I asked for some of the money to be paid back so I can try and have enough to pay groceries I just get told I’m nagging and putting pressure on him. Is this not financial abuse?
3 Replies
Oh ffs , get rid of his lazy arse. He sounds like both my exes . How long has this been goung on for? As my answer may differ. Im writing this as though its been happening for many years. Does he work too? Does he have ANY good points? If you've already tried all you can and its not working , then he needs to be gone. Change your locks if the house is your name and have him served with a misconduct order or restraining order to ensure you get suoport when u evict him so he doesn't return.
Worst case, is to sell the house and buy another if he just won't go. Or get a Bailiff to get him out , or a few male friends to escort him out. Pack all his shit and put it outside, protected undercover, and see if anyone he knows can come grab his things for him. Or drop his things off at his mums or somewhere safe so it's done and he has no need to return
You can both deal with your daughter seeing you both at a later date, just get him out first if nothing else has worked so far. I cannot stand men like this
You change the locks, pack his belongings, advise him that he is not welcome to return (if lease/mortgage is only in your name tell him police will be called if he does). Pick up the hours at work again and have your child in care so that you can support her and live comfortably. Only you can stop him from living off you. I promise there is a happier life for you and your child.
This is the exact situation my mum was in, except for the child.
In the end she moved out of the house so she stopped paying the bills and sold the house out from under him.
You may not want to sell your house though. I would get legal advice about how you go about getting him removed. You will be able to show that you have been the sole financial contributor and that will work in your favour. It is financial abuse, absolutely, so start the process to show that by finding advice and support and you will be able to get him removed.