My current partner is an "ex" drug addict, he often happily talks about his time in rehab etc.
My question is, is he still doing some form of drugs but lying.
On valentines day night I busted him (at his home) doing "nangs" and after discussion on my dislike for it and his refusal to not do it or understand the issues with doing it i then busted him 2 months later doing it in my home!!!!
I have little children and told him this is not acceptable in my home ever, any drug is not. We had a talk again about it of which he said he doesnt use it often at all and again won't stop doing it when he wants to.
He's told me that on his birthday he intends to take drugs when out partying. This doesn't sit well with me.
I have suspicion he's doing some form of drugs aside from nangs.
This is just 1/4 of our relationship issues.
Would you run?
13 Replies
You need to dump him immediately.
He is not an ex drug addict. He is a current drug user.
This is not someone that should be allowed in your home or around your children. He has told you he plans to keep using drugs, LISTEN to that and act accordingly.
Your first and only priority here should be your children.
Staying clean is not on his lists of priorities..
I second this
He’s not an ‘ex’ addict if he’s still taking drugs. Drugs are so gross I wouldn’t be putting your kids anywhere near him.
Yep I'd be out. You've set the bar. He's crossed it. There's clearly habitual drug use there and a problem. Wouldn't accept it in my house. You told him that. Now you either follow through or have him continue to do what he's shown and told you he does.
Run
A typical junkie in denial, just like my husband once was. He was going to N/A at the time, but instead of going there to get clean, he'd pick up more addicts just like himself to go get high with. He was using N/A meetings as a cover of deflection to stay on meth.
Birds of a feather Flock together . Remember that.
Run! My brother is a 'ex' addict and openally tells every that his been to rehab and is now reformed and goes to church every Sunday!
He still uses and it's gotten more and more and everytime he uses he accepts it with "it just a slip up" I'm recovering and that's just what happens.
We wont hear from him in days/ weeks if his been on his bender!
They do not want to get clean, and cover it with big stories.
Yep, I'd be fucking him off immediately. He isn't an EX user, he is a junkie.
Especially because 1, you have little children, and 2, you deserve better than a lying pos
He is straight out telling you he is using and intends to still use... image what he’s NOT telling you. He’s definitely 100% still a druggie and I’d be kicking him to the curb quick smart. It’s only going to get worse and if you have kids then that right there is the number one reason not to have him around. There are plenty of men out there who don’t do drugs..... don’t stand for anything else!
In my own personal experience drugs will always win, I tried and tried over many years to make him better to make him see family was more important, the lies got bigger!! I became completely consumed in making us look like a happy family and to hid his addictions to the outside world i lost myself as a person all we did as a family with argue there was a lot of physiological emotional and verbal abuse, my own personal well-being was at stake.
I would never be one of these people to say leave now cos this can only be something you decided, My only advice is to know your self worth! Decide where you draw the line as acceptable and Not acceptable behaviours and to think really hard at what advice you would give your best friend if she was dealing with what you are dealing with.
There is no right or wrong answers and there is no easy road to take but all the best with what ever u decide
I’m sorry you are dealing with this issue. But please leave if you can. I have felt with this issue in my life. I stayed trying to help him out with promises and going to rehab. Only to loose all my belongings (he hocked it for drug money). But you need to leave for your children’s and your own mental health. They will play emotional games with you to convince you that you are wrong. So please please leave if you can before it becomes a mental and financial issue for you and your children. As drugs affects everyone the is in the drug addicts life. Lots of hugs to you and your children though. 😊❤️😊❤️
As hard as it’s going to be to do, you have to leave him. I’ve been here many times. They all seem at first that they have changed but they don’t. I spent 9 years single and focussed on my kids, then let my guard down, he wasn’t sober at all, he fell off the wagon to alcohol and ice. He attacked my kids. He said he was sorry and he won’t do it anymore and this time I didn’t believe him. It was the best thing I’ve ever said for him and me. He seems to have his addiction under control but he doesn’t. I agree with a lot of the other comments here, the fact that he’s boasting and talking about rehab the way he is, it isn’t good. He’s no where being sober. You and your children are worth so much more. And you don’t want them growing up thinking this man is what a man is suppose to be, he’s not. He’s still a teenage junkie just gliding through what he thinks life is.
I think you already know the answer deep down. Get out now and keep your kids safe.!! Red flags he only does it sometimes is justifying it to himself. You need to get away from him and start over. Don’t waste another day. Get your kids away from him. He is lying to you flat out!! He is also talking openly so you think, he is open about everything. he isn’t and he is covering his addiction. Get out of there!!! You sound smart, don’t let this guy bring you and your kids down. It will get worse.