I yell at my 21 month old. It's really hard to stop! I hate it when I do it & feel really guilty afterwards. Any hints on how to stop. Thanks.
I yell at my 21 month old. It's really hard to stop! I hate it when I do it & feel really guilty afterwards. Any hints on how to stop. Thanks.
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4 Replies
It's like breaking any habit, once you get some momentum for change going it becomes easier. When you yell all the time it becomes meaningless noise. Try and keep it in your mind from the moment you get up. Leave reminders around the place that you can see to remind you. Set an alarm and when it rings tell your child how lovely they are or what a good job they are doing. Also schedule activities for now that your less likely to yell during. Once you get some momentum going you'll feel better and your little one will feel better.
Maybe put a name tag kind of sticker on his/her shirt saying "don't yell" so when you turn around and look at him/her you will see the sticker.
my son reacted badly when I yelled at him. Sometimes he just made me so cranky pushing boundaries . I'm a single parent and my 2 year old still doesn't sleep through the night so it was very hard to not have a short temper.
I had my mother and father pull me up on it every time I yelled when I was with them. Every time I would feel like I was going to raise my voice I would close my eyes and count to 5, then I would take a deep breath, kneel on the floor in front of my son and speak to him, we had eye contact, and I spoke to him like an adult. He may not have understood every thing I was saying, but he understood when I said "no". Now he is 2 yrs 6 months and if I do lose my temper and yell, he puts his head down and walks away from me and will not talk to me until I get down on my knees and apologise to his face.
Your baby may still only be very young but they are also very smart. If you start apologising after every time you yell he/she will find their own way of pulling you up too, even if they don't talk. And I think the more you say sorry and actually explain what they have done and why they can't do it, if they respond well, you take the easy way and start doing it straight up without yelling lol
good luck, I think we have all been here at some stage xx
I find that yelling comes more from the attitude i have at the time, I'm not engaged, I'm trying to do something else, I'm in a bad mood, tired, want to sleep, etc etc... So it really bugs me when she wont do want i need her to do, or occupy herself, or i don't respond making her repeat herself a thousand times getting louder and pulling on my face before i snap.
So, to stop it, make a conscious decision that you will engage with your child, be patient and help them. Before you start the day, decide you will interact kindly & positively today, start the effort before you feel like yelling. Then if you feel like snapping, or have snapped, take a step back, tell the kids sorry, mummy's grumpy and shouted again, let me see it again and give them your time.
Yelling is usually the symptom (if this is not normal behaviour for you). The cause is usually some type of stress (take your pick, there's loads of stressors when you are a mum).
I have the same problem. I try to breathe before I shout and swear (ashamed), and congratulate myself for small things, like "dinner's almost done, I cleaned the bathroom, there's not much more that needs to be done. I'm doing fine. This (reason to yell) doesn't matter."