I have just found out that I am pregnant with my 3rd child. The age gap between my youngest and the newborn will be 6 years. At first I was in shock, than I was happy but now I really don't know how I feel. My husband was set on just having 2 children, but now that I am pregnant he is really excited. Which is lovely, but I just can't share his excitement. I guess I'm worried about such a big age gap, and feeling a little on the selfish side as both kids were in school and I had me time again. I feel terrible for feeling like this as I did say to my husband a few months back that I was tossing up wanting to have another child. But now that it's happened, I'm terrified, sad and frustrated. Will this feeling pass? Or will I continue to dislike being pregnant and will this make me a horrible mum to my new baby?
5 Replies
You have acknowledged your mixed feelings and so you won't be a horrible mum. My one and only child was unplanned and I wasn't in a place where having a baby was a good idea. I sobbed for a few weeks and although I made a conscientious decision to go through with the pregnancy it took a month for me to be happy and start to make plans and really be happy properly. I wouldn't be afraid to access counselling services if you don't feel like your starting to look forward to the new baby.
As soon as you see your baby these feelings will diminish :) once you have had time to get used to the idea I'm sure you'll be fine! Having a supportive husband is definitely a good thing.. And in years to come you'll look back and not be able to imagine your life without you newest precious bundle :) all the best for a smooth pregnancy
There's 6 years between my last 2 kids and I felt exactly the same as you.. It takes a lot to get used to again. But once that feeling passed I loved having another bubs. And now his 4 years old and couldn't imagine life without him.
I was recently in the exact situation. my youngest is the same age my oldest in final stages of high school. My husband was supportive in either decision but frightened of having another. I had always wanted 3 but when the test came up positive I freaked out. I was shattered. We had only just started to get money in the bank and I was looking forward to getting a bit more me time and we recently made a major purchase that without the second income it would leave us in a hard place. I had days of thinking that I had to keep it. those days I cried and cried and felt life was never meant to be easy and if anything felt like giving up. That wouldn't be fair on the kids I already have. I made the decision to have a medical abortion. I was scared to see the dating scan the most. It all came down to that. When the scan was being done the sonographer had trouble finding anything in what he could only just make out was sac. If there was a bean I would be in a different situation. There was no bean just a sac so I proceeded with taking the pills. I am now 90% at ease with the choice. My family are happy that I am happy. The kids obviously don't know what was making me sad but have said they are happy to have their old mum back. I will always think what if but I know it was the right thing for my health and family. Good luck with your decision.
This happened to me when my younger at was 7. I was so upset for 8 months. But the moment that little person was born my while world changed for the better. It won't be easy dealing with 2 different life stages but it will be worth it. That surprise baby is nearly ten and an amazing girl. Good luck xx