My husband and I have been married nearly two years. We have lived separate for one year. I have my own home which is two bedroom and he has been living with his mum. We have a blended family so aren't able to live together at the moment due to space. He is now moving out of his mums and hasn't taken me or my child into account. He's willing to spend more on rent than using the equity from my place to by another house for us all to be together. I'm just wondering if I should see this as him not wanting a future with me. Any advice would be appreciated. Also if there are any married couples that live separately would be great :)
9 Replies
I would take it as a big huge red flag that 1.you have been living apart for 1 year and 2. That he isn’t doing everything in his power to move back in together.
Time for the big discussions.
I think he’s enjoying his so called freedom too much and perhaps doesn’t want to fully commit.
Maybe if you look for some suitable property and show him and if he’s not interested you need to consider where you want your own family to be
Perhaps he’s happy as a seperate family unit ?
I don’t see this as a problem as long as your both spending time together.
I prefer this way of living with my child as I can still be the parent and live financially independent. I don’t like blending finances after being burnt a few times, I’m not prepared to take that risk at my age or my child’s age. So this works really well for me. And we still go to family functions together, spend time together and have occasional sleep overs etc when the kids aren’t around. But I’m not prepared to spend my wage raising someone else’s children’s or being the wicked step parent... easier for us to love each other from our own houses :-)
Sounds like the perfect set up (I feel the same if I ever repartner lol) however, I think this woman married this man thinking it would be conventional.
I don’t think I would get married if I had your set up, are you married?
It sounds like this wasn’t discussed as a way of life for these two, so I think it’s a completely different situation.
I’m sure you were upfront as I would be, for the situation we want.
No he doesn't, if he's broke and been living with his mum I'd be considering my own financial future long before this point.
Is he only married to you so after a set period of time he can stake a claim on your assets?
This is incredibly bizarre.
Have you decided to live apart for a certain time? Sometimes families work better when they live apart so I applaud you both for going down that path instead of essentially cramming 2 families together. Living together is not the be all and end all. That may be why he hasn't considered you, he thinks this is a long term thing and he may be sick of living with his Mum, that's ok too. Have an honest chat with him to see where you stand and what your future is.
Sorry but I find it really weird that ur married for a few years and don’t live together!
Looks like no doesn't it? Always believe in someone's actions.
Don’t use your place, please, don’t risk your own home.
Seriously, really reconsider this relationship.