Hi IMs. I've just had major surgery... colon resection (diverticular disease) and hysterectomy (extensive endometriosis fused bowels and uterus, one ovary left)
The op was obviously a large one, done via laparoscopy 2 weeks ago. Thing is I've only JUST cone out of the endone pain fog and smack into horny hubby. He's not pushing for intercourse (yet) however is groping and grabbing my hand and placing it on his dick and just wants to "play". I've had years of pain downstairs so the sex drive has been way low pre op. I'm just not in any way close to being horny and two weeks post op am just not in the mood to even talk dirty let alone play. Am i being unreasonable to expect him to just sort his own dick out for the next few weeks or am i just carrying over the long term " "not interested" because of pre op pain and mindset. And if so how do i get the libido back up??
How do i deal with horny hubby post op
How do i deal with horny hubby post op
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
6 Replies
Ohh no No no no no!
This is not a you problem.
This is definitely the time he should be sorting himself out!
You shouldn’t even be complicating even giving him a hand job at this point. You have had major major surgery and are still at great risk for tearing your internal stitches. I’m sure your surgeon told you not to lift your arms above your head, not to lift anything over a certain weight and not to do anything physical.
Your body is trying to heal, you will still be deeply exhausted and the action of a hand job is not something you should be physically engaging in. It’s just too physical at this time.
You need to tell him to sort himself out and that you will let him know when you are physically able to ‘play’. Until then he needs to politely go Fork himself!
Oh and to put it in perspective, 15 years ago, you would have still been in hospital 2 weeks post op. 7 days is the norm for hysterectomy alone these days.
Have you always pushed him away for sex or it it just related to the op?
For a while previous to op. Due to pain from the endo. I am still in love and attracted to him, however he wants way more than i can give either before (due to pain) or now (due to op)
There's no way you should be giving in to full intercourse due to your pain pre op OR post op. Hes possibly feeling rejected for much too long, but there are other solutions that don't involve penetration you .
You can compromise so he doesn't always have to go without, like Can you give him oral? Deep french kissing? A hand job? Prostate play? Ball licking? Some Spanish even? ( thats him having sex in between your boobs) Or buy him a flesh light for the time being? ( Those are virtual soft silicon vagina's you can buy from the sex shop or online) Give him the time of his life with one of those if you need to.
That way you're still participating and being close with him, he isn't going without and feeling abandoned, and you get to continue to heal with no penetration until you are ready.
You will both feel happier for it and the pressure will be off you from saying another familiar no, because now you won't have to 🥰
Happy healing x
Wow he sounds very selfish!