Hi everyone ☺️
I’m having a baby in a matter of weeks and have been told by my mum (who is amazing by the way) that she will be visiting once the baby is born no matter what. Her exact wording was, “I don’t care what I have to do, I’ll wear a mask and gloves if I have to but I want to meet the baby”.
I told her that we’d just have to wait and see what is happening at the time with the Covid-19 issues... she didn’t respond to that at all and we continued to chat about other stuff.
I know she misses the grandkids and we miss her so much but I just don’t know what to do at the moment. She will be babysitting my other kids while I’m in labour so it’s not like we won’t be ‘exposed’ to each other in that regard, but she is also still working in a school and potentially being exposed to Covid-19 more than me and my husband are (hubby works at the moment with only a small group of people).
What would you do and not just with my parents but the in-laws who I have a much harder time being honest and upfront with? I’m a bit of a people-pleaser and wouldn’t want to offend anyone saying they couldn’t visit but I also don’t want the baby at risk.
4 Replies
The answer is one only you can give
So, I'd compromise if I was in your situation as the grandparents sound loving and involved.
I would be comfortable with offering one short visit to your mother and your In laws, provided they're happy to follow all the appropriate hygiene practices and wear a mask and gloces. I would also ask them to save their cuddles til a later date and to keep a sensible distance away from baby, yourself and any other members of your household.
As a people pleaser myself, I get it but when it's a matter of life or death you just have to be assertive!
They might be offended, they might think you're being over the top but they'll get over it. You won't get over it if the worst was to happen after going against what you felt was right.
They either need to take what ever you offer or nothing at all.
Your kids will be a risk if they are staying with her, they will be in the baby's face and touching. So it probably won't make much difference if you let her meet the baby or not.
My son is 5 weeks old and I have told my mother until this is over she won’t be meeting him. I send photos but she will just have to wait. She works in an office and has a lot of contact with random people. She is furious at me but I’m not risking my child’s health to make someone else happy