Disrespectful teenager

Hi sisterhood
I am a mum of 5 teenagers. My third child has always been somewhat difficult in regards to her attitude at home and the way she speaks to all of us. It’s not just the usual rolling her eyes or talking back she is very emotionally abusive towards her older sisters and her dad and I. At school and with her friends and their families she is polite, respectful, helpful everything you could want in a child. I feel like I am walking on egg shells with her. I am afraid to ask her things because I just don’t know if I’m going to get that polite young girl or abused. She calls me names, swears and is just very hurtful. She doesn’t listen to anything we say. Something as simple as “can you help your sister with the dishes” will boil her blood as it’s interrupting her from doing whatever she is doing. I hear all the time that she doesn’t want to live here and we don’t love her. This is simply not true of course and we try to show her by trying to spend one on one with her. She’s great when we do then the next day it’s back to square one.If she doesn’t get what she wants it’s like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. I don’t argue with her because it just makes things worse but I have tried to talk calmly to her how her actions affect us. She just doesn’t seem to understand or care. I don’t know what to do anymore. I have even considered counselling. I just feel like a failure wondering where I went wrong. I don’t like to compare but find myself wondering how I can have 4 other children who have all been relatively easy but have one that just makes me feel so useless as a mother. Help
I don’t know what to do or how to make this better