I feel like my husband and I are drifting apart. We are two different people with none of the same hobbies, he dislikes all the things I like and visa versa. As our kids are getting older I'm realising we made it work for so long because our kids were our interests. I'm not unhappy with him as he is a beautiful person but I'm certainly not happy. I don't know how to even approach it with him as he is so sensitive and I love him and do not want to hurt him. I just yearn for someone to share my hobbies and interests or at least a few things. Has anyone been through this? I don't know what's next.
5 Replies
My parents have been married for 47 years, happily. They don’t have the same hobbies. Having separate interests is pretty healthy and normal.
They do have some shared interests in that they like travelling and they have shared life goals around the house, grandchildren.
Do you really want to share your hobbies with your partner or are you missing a friend?
Have you tried looking into another hobby that you could both enjoy? My husband and I both have very different and separate hobbies but we also have one or two shared interests. I think it is essential to have separate interests for relationships longevity but if you have absolutely nothing in common or you dont enjoy spending time together you may find you need to have that hard conversation. If you do it's important to not come across as though its anyone's fault. It's ok if he doesn't like your hobbies and vice versa. Before that though think about what drew you together in the first place and see if you can revisit that or find something new and different.
My partner and I don't have the same interests and I think that's why our relationship works so well.... because we have a life outside of each other and our family.
Our relationship is about us and our family. And our hobbies are for ourselves, if that makes sense.
I love and adore his passion for sport. But I honestly couldbt think of anything worse then watching it on tv or in real life... He knows that. And appreciates those occasions when I do make effort to go and watch him but it's HIS thing. I've also got hobbies (much more introverted then him so it's stuff at home) that he has no interest in what so ever.
Sorry I'm confused. You say you're not unhappy with him but then say I'm certainly not happy and you love him.
I could have written this, my husband has taken up scuba diving and has bought a harley and is pissy that i won't ride with him or dive. I feel like his hobbies are very self indulgent and single focused, and definitely not inclusive. He would love for me to do both however where should the kids be? I want family time and adventures together before they grow up and don't want to hang out. He wants holiday no kids all the time, and i want to be apart of showing them the world. We are in a defining time, and the out come could go either way. So what i am saying is don't push your hobbies on him, enjoy the down time and find time to hang together, I wish my husband saw the importance of balancing all the demands, and being grateful for what we have.