My husband had an affair after 25 years of marriage and left me and my 5 girls. Over the last 10 months he has seen them for 1 hour a week when it fits into his time. This week I had to move out of the home me and my girls stayed in because his family owned the home. So I had to walk away and leave them at the house with him as I have no where to take them. What should I do
17 Replies
Do you have an income? Have you spoke to Centrelink? Do you have somewhere to stay until you sort out permanent housing? Can a friend or a member of your family take you in?
You don’t have to have somewhere permanent to get your children. Will your ex let you have the kids once you find somewhere to live?
Maybe you could give a bit more info on your post, as I’m having to fill in lots of gaps.
I am on the housing list for priority and have applied for lots of private rentals but no success. I also get Centrelink. I will get my kids once I find a house, but I am worried about the damage to my kids mental well being after their dad hurt them by leaving and not having much to do with them over the 10 months
My girls don’t want to stay with their dad and I am couch surfing
Have you spoken to the salvos and other charities. Sometimes they have emergency accomodation.
Yes they have nothing available yet
What state are you in?
Canberra
Have you looked into nras housing or your community run housing? Look up your local co-op housing
How old are your kids? I actually would not have left until I had a house.
17,17,14,12,4
If it’s not her house she has no rights to stay. I’m sure he is capable of looking after the children and she has had 10 months to find suitable accommodation
Different poster here : If she's lived there a while with him and their kids, she has every right to be there like any tenant. If the family of owners wanted her out, they can give written notice to her to go, but even then she could have still stayed until the courts evicted her . That would have been an extra 3ish months to find something for her and the kids. Not sure why she just upped and left to couch surf when their dad hasnt seen them in 10 months then just waltzes back in while making her leave. She legally could have absolutely stayed on. Mentally she probably didn't want to, but that's beside the point because legally she didn't have to go yet.
He's the one that decided to have an affair, after 25 years marriage you had better believe I wouldn't move until I had a house. 10 months is nothing when you look at how long centrelink take to get their act together. You also have no idea if he was ok for her to stay there and then suddenly changed his mind.
If he hasn't had much to do with them and now has full care then he is going to find it so hard, I would sit back and laugh if that was me but I'm a bit evil like that. Your girls will learn so much about him in this time, he kicked their mother out so its already off to a bad start. Concentrate on trying to get a job it will better your chances of finding a house. Go to a refuge and see if this opens up any housing opportunities too.
I'm a bit confused - had you been seperated for the last 10 months? Why weren't you looking for a place since then..? Can you speak to your ex and negotiate a set time to be out of the house to give you a few more weeks to find something suitable? Could also try approaching real estate ageants directly to see if they have anything available on their books. I've also seen people advertise for private rentals on local Facebook pages - could be worth doing
I’m so sorry you are in this incredibly painful situation, I just want to say that bad times don’t last, things will get better ❤️❤️❤️
Go and get legal advice ASAP. If you were a stay at home mum then you are entitled to at least half his superannuation, child support, and possibly extra as you haven’t been earning while you looked after his kids. Also at least half of any other assets. You are going to have to get advice and education on your rights and fight for them. If you can’t go back to the house he needs to give you bond etc to set up a new place and then with single parent payment, child supports, FBT etc you will be able to manage. Get moving quickly so he doesn’t try to keep the kids and avoid child support etc.
Do you have someone providing casework support for you? Sounds like you need a housing support worker and a lawyer so you know what you might be entitled to and help you navigate the system. I'm not familiar with Canberra but have you spoken to Accommodation Onelink? They can talk to you about housing options, including emergency accommodation. OneLink can provide information about public housing, community housing, private rental and other options, and about what assistance might be available for you to secure a tenancy. Drop In: Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm, ACT Central Access Point
Phone: 1800 176 468
Or YMCA (Ph 02 6185 2000) who is also listed as an accommodation support option. They provide medium term housing, help to prevent homelessness amongst other services.
Women's Legal Centre- provides free, confidential telephone advice to women on legal issues by appointments only. Monday to Friday 9.30am to 12noon.
Phone: 02 6257 4499
Barnardos might offer general support - offers a range of support services to children and their families. Phone: 02 6228 9500
If you are ever before the family court regarding care of the kids, if he has the kids 100% now it will be easier for him to maintain greater hours, so it is really urgent you find a place to have them back in your care at least some of the time (also, of course for them and you!)
Good luck.