My eldest is 7 and maybe 2-3 nights out of the week he will shower with either myself or my husband. It’s his choice, we always ask if he’d prefer a bath, a shower on his own or to shower with one us that night. My youngest is only 8 months old so still gets bathed in the baby bath.
We aren’t exhibitionists or anything but we don’t hide our bodies if he walks in when we’re showering or getting dressed either. My husband and I both decided when our eldest was a toddler to just act natural if he wondered in while we were showering/getting dressed etc and to not scramble to hide ourselves so we didn’t accidentally create any negative feelings about the naked body or that they are something to be ashamed about in the process. We also both decided that the day either of our children became uncomfortable with it we’d start being more private but so far that day hasn’t come. Our eldest even at 7 could not careless.
Anyway, recently we were on holidays sharing a holiday house with family and one night when my sister in law realised my son had just showered with me she was horrified. Saying it was weird, bordering on disgusting and that she won’t even get dressed/shower in front of her 3 year old. My husband and I brushed it off and told her she was over reacting but since then I’ve been second guessing myself.
Growing up my parents were quite open about stuff like that, in fact my mum and I still have no issue with getting dressed in front of each other now, not that it happens often lol.
I know my sister in law had a very different upbringing to myself, full on religious family and a lot of things were taboo subjects eg: Sex, periods, education about how female and male bodies are different and how they work etc where as with my parents anything was open for discussion from a very early age.
So now I’m wondering is it weird?
It is weird my 7 year old still showers with me?
It is weird my 7 year old still showers with me?
Posted in:
Kids
13 Replies
I don't think its disgusting. If it works for your family and your child still wants to, I dont see why you should stop. It's not a problem for your family so ignore what the opinionated busy bodies around you have to say about it. Just because its not right for them, doesn't mean it's not right for you. I still walk around in just a bra and undies in front of my kids and they're adults now. I've done it my whole life, and they do not care. My 15 yo son still jumps in my bed with me to sleep on occasion . Its normal for us. So if your 7 yo feels like still showering with you, let him. Once it's weird for him, he will tell you so. And tell the other ppl in your life to butt out ! None of their business how your family do things.
Nope. No problem with it. Same in our household.
Don’t see the issue with it. Your SIL sounds weird!
With her background I can see why your sil thinks it is inappropriate - but that's ok. We're all going to have different opinions and ways of doing things. You do what works for you and your family
Ive done it much the same as you and wait for them to say something or give cues they dont want to anymore.
Ive got a almost 6yo boy and 4yo girl and my aon hasnt wanted to shower with me since he was about 5. He still sees me naked getting in and out of the shower, getting dressed ect but he said one time he didnt want to shower with me bwcause i have a hairy vagina, LOL so that was that hahahaha but we would of just kept showering together as long as he was comfortable. He still showers with his dad regualrly. My 3yo also showers with her dad and i too
Kids are so funny. Won't shower with you because you have a hairy vagina, but will shower with his dad who I assume has a hairy set of balls with a hairy pubic bone 🤣. Bless him.
Yes Dad is much much hairier then me, everywhere. And i stay reasonablg groomed but apparently still a hairy vagina hahahaha i couldn't be mad even if i tried though, Im glad he was honest hahah
I personally feel like it gets less appropriate the older the child gets. Around this age I started encouraging my kids to bathe/shower individually because they were capable by that stage and really not that far away from puberty, so it really didn't seem necessary anymore. I've also spent a lot of time teaching my kids about private body parts and certain activities that are private (emphasis on private, not shameful just as a side note) so showering together seemed to contradict that message a bit.
Every family will have a different moral standpoint on this issue though, so I don't necessarily think there's a right or wrong answer, just common sense and what works for your family specifically.
My 9 YO has just stopped showering with me. We are exactly the same as you have described above and he's naturally matured into this decision. My 7 YO still prefers to shower with us. Completely ok in IMO.
I don't think it's weird but I had stopped showering with my kids by about 3 or 4. Not because they were too old but because they were cheeky little shits and would make fun of me 😳." Look at mums bum wobble!" "Why have you got that freckle on your bum?" "What is that?" My daughter even told her cousin that when she grows up she's going to have a hairy bum like mum. If you missed all that then good for you! 😂. I do think it's weird to not be naked around your toddler though. I had a bit of a prudish upbringing too but it never felt wrong to be naked around my kids when they were very young. I think I walked around topless for each child's first year! At home of course 😂.
I have a 12 year old, we didn’t shower together but I got changed in front of him etc. when he was little.
There comes an age where things change, you’ll know it when it happens.
I have 2 kids, my oldest 9 year old, is a son. I have never showered with him, but he is always in my bed. Both my kids will walk in when I'm showering or getting changed, and it's not a big deal. I think your son will let you know when he doesn't want to shower with you any more. I wouldn't say it's disgusting. I probably would say it will become innapropriate, the older your son gets.
Nope not at all mine still does too. I have 7yo boy and 4yo girl. I came from a home that mum n dad started privacy early on. But with 4 siblings ours started when we noticed boys different from us lol. My boy has started to have his own showers and references he wants privacy but its not because he doesn't want to be seen its because he doesn't want to be told what needs to be washed next. Typical of some boys his age bums get missed. I think they think the water passing over the cheeks is sufficient 🤢.
I also dated an 18yo that still showered with his mum THAT WAS WEIRD. But as my kids are growing Im happy they feel safe and comfy and not embarrassed or ashamed of bodies. When they start with curiosity that could cross lines things will change but for now they are well adjusted and its normal.