How do u tell the difference between mental illness and true feelings? 😭 My partner of 7 years has told me he doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for months . The way I talk and look at him just makes him sick .He hasn't yet been diagnosed with bi polar but I think it's coming . I told him I thought something was wrong and we went to the doctors he's been referred to a psychiatrist which I hope is soon. We have been together 7 years . Lot of ups and downs . I have moved out for now . This is so hard 😭😭 .. he thinks even if he is diagnosed that it has nothing to do with our relationship but how could something like that not affect a relationship. Looking for any advice or stories from anyone who has been through the same thing .. thank you*editHe gets very agitated easily . Has weeks where he is bouncing off the walls happy lots of energy . Can't get enough of me sex everywhere and everyday plus strange sexual fantasies. Then he will be ok auto pilot just going through the motions of the day . Not really talking getting angry over very small issues . He tried to kill himself 5 years ago after having a period of time where he was just sad and he didn't know why. He doesn't remember conversations we have had or claims that I have / haven't said things and is adamant his version of events is what's real. He said he's heard a voice in his head a few times . And lays in bed at night his mind just in overdrive . He's had trouble sleeping for about 3 years . Also these behaviours where he pushes me away happen at the same time yearly almost like clock work . He has had problems long before I come on the scene and has never dealt with anything . I think as he's getting older it's all just catching up with him. I just want him to get the help he needs
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He is being honest with you by telling you how he feels. He may have bipolar, but that doesn’t change how he feels. Maybe some counseling for yourself might help you find a way to expect and move on. But I would definitely say it’s over from his point of view, there is no point pushing it
I don’t want to burst your bubble but it would take years, not months to properly diagnose someone with bipolar. It isn’t about being moody you know, it’s a shitload more complex than that. I get the feeling you have no experience with severe mental illness and treatment. Even if he was acutely ill in the throws of a psychotic episode, hospitalised in the mental health unit, they would suspect but not immediately diagnose. Has he ever even had a psychotic episode? Has he been hospitalised? A GP referral to a psyche does not remotely make a bipolar diagnosis and I don’t care what your GP said.
There are different levels of bi polar as well. Bi polar is the umbrella term for the different types, and yes they can and do take many years to diagnose, sometimes even being misdiagnosed as other mental health issues before the correct diagnosis is reached. They are usually treated with antipsychotics because antidepressants can be deadly for somebody suffering genuine PBD. So many other conditions can mimic bi polar disorder, it's a hard illness to diagnose without many months and years of ongoing therapy appointments.
there are only two types, but yes, everyone cycles differently.
It’s a big label and I don’t think the OP understands that.
There also isn’t a magic pill, takes a lot of time to get medication and dosages right.
Medication can work for a while but can stop or person becomes acute and needs different or higher amounts.
Many people with BPD are diagnosed with depression until they have that psychotic episode.
From the lack of what I would expect a wife to write in about an undiagnosed BPD partner, sounds like he doesn’t have it.
You are after personal experience.....nine years ago I was unwell, thought I could be bi polar, psyche also suspected the same, but didn’t diagnose immediately as professionals know they need to see a pattern. Turns out I was the victim of covert narcissistic abuse and once I removed the toxic spouse from my life, I recovered, completely (wasn’t easy, took a lot of time to get back to my old self and unpack all the baggage). The toxic spouse also thought I was bi polar, turns out I’m not, just a victim of his mind games, control, underhanded jabs/insults, death by a thousand cuts type of stuff. He also thought we shouldn’t break up due to my mental health issues, thank god I didn’t listen. I truly hope your husband gets whatever treatment he needs.
I thought my husband had Bi Polar 2 disorder. In fact all his symptoms pointed to it. The whirlwind of up and down extremes in mood swings, sometimes having manic episodes for months at a time before the crash of severe depression, almost psychotic thoughts, no interest in food, excessive sleepiness, mood changes, severe lack of hygeine, that would last week's. Was like this for years. I got him to a psych which diagnosed him in one day of APD - a type of personality disorder but not Bi Polar. I was convinced the psych was wrong as Bi Polar can take years to diagnose.
Years go by and i find the answer. Turns out the pitiful bastard husband of mine was a meth addict on highs and having comedowns and meth addiction mimics Bi Polar 2 symptoms almost identically.
From what the OP has described it doesn't sound like Bi Polar 1 unless he's had hospital admissions and even been suicidal. This version can take years of normalicy before happening again, that's why it can take many years to diagnose. It also doesnt sound like Bi Polar2 because the depression part of BPD2 is worse than number 1 , whereas the manic episodes cycle more frequently but aren't as intense .
It doesn't sound like OP's husband has either of the bi polar disorders. If he had them he would by now have had several terrifying episodes over the years. This is one mental illness that shouldn't be thrown around lightly, and mental health is too vast an issue to be seeking advice on here . But maybe these few personal experiences might show you that it's more than likely not what you think it is.
Anti social disorder, yikes, glad you go out ❤️
I agree, anything is possible, but if he’s in his 30/40s and never had a hospital admission or psyche appointment, it’s unlikely.
Hearing voices is usually associated with schitzophrenia.
I had a complete psychotic episode and had no memory loss during it.
Stop diagnosing him.
Trauma, ADHD, severe depression, being incredibly miserable in his marriage, personality disorders, could be a million things.
Break ups are hard. You just have to respect his decision and get on with your life. Even if he does turn out to have bi-polar he is entitled to his feelings and he is entitled to have his decision respected.
Please don’t undermine his decision.
My sisters ex kept saying she was mentally unwell too. Even tried to get her to see a psychologist. There was nothing wrong with her, she was just unhappy in the marriage.
When someone tells you they don’t love you anymore. Believe them. Move on. Put your energy into something else.
Don’t make excuses don’t wait for change of mind. You do not deserve to be treated in such a way.