I’m looking for guidance from others that may have been through a similar situation to me.
About a month ago my husband of 18 years and I separated. We’ve separated previously but got back together. I regretted that decision almost immediately.
Earlier this year we felt our marriage wasn’t working. We decided to keep our relationship civil for the benefit of our eldest to finish year 12. Now that has come to an end, so has our marriage.
We have 2 children aged 17 and 15. I live with 2 chronic illnesses that effect my day to day living. I have no savings and have worked from home, originally managing our family business, for about 17 years.
I’ve moved into a spare room in our family home. This is not ideal. I need my own space to start my new life.
My question is where do I start? Who can I go to for advice? Is there anywhere I can get support? Can someone share their experience with me?
I’m grateful for any guidance.
1 Replies
I’m going to be honest, this is something you have to work out alone.
Friends and family can offer support, but having been through it, separating is just that, standing on your own two feet.
No one is going to pay your bills or find you a job or care for your children, that’s on you.
So where do you start?
You sort out the house, will he keep it and buy you out or will you sell and divide it?
Will you need to get another job? If Yes, I would start looking.
Who owns the business? Can he compensate you for walking away?
Centrelink, get on the calculator and find out what you’ll get, you can also work out child support if you know what he earns on paper. Being self employed, it doesn’t work in your favour if he keeps his income low for tax purposes. Having worked in the business you are privy to his on paper income.
When you resolve the house issue, decide can you buy or will you rent?
Renting for a little bit?
Maybe with house money you’ll have enough to buy something smaller?
How much are rentals in your area?
The kids, how do you and your ex see custody? Does he work long hours? Weekends?
Start working out a budget, maybe find the job before you leave if you need more income?
I always say try to work it out between you rather than getting lawyers involved, but if it is complex like a family business and you have extensive assets, it’s probably better to talk to one, you don’t want to get shafted.
Good luck, you can do this.