Hey girls.
Say you were having some relationship problems and your partners mate randomly reached out to you and starts sending messages saying “what a good friend” you are and offering to “chat should you need to” would you consider this a bit slimey? Particularly if you have never really messaged each other before. Keen to know what you guys would think if you were in this situation
Opinions please
Opinions please
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
10 Replies
Maybe you're about to be broken up with and your partner is telling his mates. Perhaps this one contacting you wants see if you are ok?
It could be shadey or could be completely genuine.. I feel like my partners best mate would message and do the same without any ill intentions.
If you aren't sure, be thankful towards him, don't take him on the offer to "chat" but be polite. And leave it at that.
Yeah, I'd feel a bit weird about that, under such circumstances.
It may well be genuine, although if that were the case I'd still feel that he knows too much about the ins and outs of your relationship and that it's probably not his place to be offering moral support to you (particularly if your partner was completely unaware he was reaching out to you).
My initial feeling though is that it's a bit opportunistic.
I'd probably be telling him thanks but no thanks.
I wouldn’t engage either way. His motivation could be genuine, it could be fishing for information. Either way, your partners friend is definitely not someone you should be leaning on at this time.
I'd say he's trying to be there for you and you have a horrible surprise coming your way
Once upon a time I'd have assumed they were fishing for info to take back to their mate, or had nefarious plans.
A while ago one of my partners mates had something awful happen and he desperately needed someone to talk to, he tried all the guys (my partner included but he was asleep on the couch) and eventually my phone rang. We ended up chatting about what had happened for over an hour, he didn't want someone to fix it, just to share it and process for himself. I have no doubt that I could do the same if I needed to.
Ok let’s flip this and say it is my husband who is the friend messaging another guys mrs. When I said a mate I used the term lightly they are more so friends of friends he wouldn’t know anything “upcoming” in the relationship. He says he was just being nice because her partner speaks down to her. I said it looks opportunistic and like he was interested and I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought the same thing
Yes.. he is def trying to suss you out. Like he will be there for you 🤮 don’t go there. Just ignore it. I’m
Sure you have many female friends who can offer help. Don’t get into messaging with him.
Tell him you are fine, thanks for the offer but you have many friends for support. Don’t even bite with this msg.!
I’d be more suspicious that he’s fishing for information on behalf of your partner. I’d play that bitch 😂