A couple years a ago I left a long term relationship. We had separate funds and I supported the children and myself while he paid the mortgage and power. I borrowed some money from him and paid it back. However now he’s saying that I’ve hardly paid anything and he wants me to continue to pay him money. I really want to say no but he is usually a ass when I disagree with his decisions.
Should I suck it up and pay or suck it up and say no?
Should I pay?
Should I pay?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Money
17 Replies
Nope. Firstly it wasn’t his money, it was family money.
If he wanted money back it needed to be sorted out in the financial settlement, when you divided assets.
I get the feeling that if you paid this money he’d just be an ass about something else.
Thanks for the reply. The money I repaired as I felt bad as I was leaving.
I’ve slightly said no and he’s still being a ass trying to get more.
If you’ve repaid it, you’ve repaid it. Don’t pay anymore
If you had separate finances and you haven’t already paid it back then yes, you always pay your debts. If you borrowed it to begin with then it needs to be returned
I took out a loan to repay it. It was paid in full but he keeps saying I need to pay more.
If you have already paid it back then tell him to stick it up his arse, debts been cleared
The way you be framed it no, you shouldn’t pay it back but I think there is probably more to the story. You’ve provided no details.
Thanks for the reply. I don’t know what details I’m meant to give but I borrowed money for child’s expenses and he wanted it paid back. They are all his children btw. I took out a loan to repay it and had agreed to pay internet for the year as well. It’s up yet he still wants me to pay more.
He lives rent or mortgage free in the house we jointly own and I have to pay for the house the children and I live in.
Yet he still wants more. I still feel guilty which is why I’m finding it hard to say no.
Hope that fills in the details🙂.
Why do you feel guilty if you know you have repaid everything? I hope that doesn’t sound too abrasive, I’m just genuinely curious?
I feel guilty because I decided that I wanted out of the relationship and he didn’t want to.
Nothing to do with money. But guilt makes it harder to say no.
Paying him more money isn’t going to ease that guilt lovely, not in the long term anyway. You did him a favour by leaving him if you weren’t in love with him. He prob can’t see it now but you’ve given him the chance to find someone who loves him just as much as he loves them which is what you both deserve. Please don’t pay him any more money, he might be playing on your guilt and taking you for a ride xx
I was the commenter, stop paying him guilt money, he sounds like a manipulative arse, this just proves you did the right thing leaving him. Chin up, you need to just ignore his requests, create boundaries, you live separate lives now physically, emotionally and financially. All the best xxxx
I thought you said he pays the mortgage?
If he does then it isn’t mortgage free.
Technically, if it is joint owned, you should be paying the mortgage as well.
Maybe it is time to do a financial settlement and severe all financial ties.
Let me get this straight he doesn't contribute to the cost of the house you jointly own.
Are you separated and living under one roof? Because if you are need to sort that out.
Paying for his children during the relationship isn't borrowing money off him because they are primarily his kids. Ultimately it's a shared responsibility although the courts might not look at it that way since you took out a loan to reimburse him.
Please go get legal advice.
If you paid exactly what you owed him and the amount that was initially agreed upon, don't you pay him another cent!
You've already taken out a personal loan to repay him, how are you supposed to give him more money without financially crippling yourself?
Hell nah...
It sounds like he's playing you for a fool. You owe him nothing! Ask him to take you to court, he will get laughed at and he knows it! Also look up the median rental price for your area, add up what the house was worth in rental income since he has been living there, divide it by two. That amount is what he should have paid you in rent during this time. I think it's sbout time you sought legal advice and put this bully in his place. In the meantime get a restraining order to stop him harassing you, because that's what he's doing!
No way you should pay anymore. Hell you shouldnt even have repaid money for a childs expence when its his child. Its called being a parent. He is taking you for a ride and using your emotions to finacially abuse you. If you havent already make sure you go through the correct channels and claim child support.