I'm currently interested in this guy and he seems interested too.
But I feel like I'm constantly sabotaging thing based on my previous experiences with males (not the best ride so far!) I had a neglecting childhood and have lots of emotional scars from my mother and previous exs that I'm slowly working on.
How can I fix this and get past it?
I'm really into this guy and feel he's gonna run any second as I keep assuming the worst of everything 😔
Help!!
Sabotaging relationships.
Sabotaging relationships.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression
2 Replies
If he runs let him run. You have to let go of the “what if it ends”. It may end. It won’t be the end of the world and you will pick yourself up and be ok. Yes you will be sad but you will move past it in time.
Concentrate on today and the excitement of today only. Then the same tomorrow.
Maybe go and chat to someone to help you heal from the past!
I've never told anyone this so lucky it's anon, I have severe abandonment issues to the point that my life for the past 23 years has been waiting for my partner to leave. We're not married because when he does want to be free I don't want a marriage to make him feel like he has something to stay to save. I'm 100% independant financially so he never has to stay thinking he has to support me or our son. It seems crazy but it means I can enjoy what we have knowing 1) he's not here because he has to be and 2) that when he does go I'll hurt and I'll survive.
It did take a long time for me to open up to being vulnerable, and that was all the work I'd put into trusting my capacity to not fall in a heaped pile of quivering shit when he left.
That in a nutshell is it. Do you value your capacity to cope if it doesn't work out? If so, practice some mindfulness to bring down the barriers and change the behaviours and see where it takes you.