So I've been separated for 6 months and in that time he has lived with his family. We don't get on very well at the moment but haven't done a financial separation.
I just found out from his family that they want him to stay here the week before and after Christmas because there's other family staying there.
He apparently said to them that he will have to stay here after Christmas anyway for animals.
I don't want him here because I know it will end in fighting and we have been through enough.
I also feel pissed that this is even on the table. It's been 6 months!
I struggle dealing with him and his family already and I'm over them dictating things.
Also I was going to put the dog into the kennels when I'm away.
How do I handle this? I already constantly look like the bad guy but I feel like I don't trust him. He's taken my card etc after separation and sees no issue with any of his actions.
11 Replies
Gosh, how do they even see this as a choice? Whose house are you in?
Nope. He's a grown up he'll sort himself out without becoming your problem
Be the bad guy. Jeez if that makes you an asshole in their eyes , then be an asshole in their eyes. Look after yourself and know that you're not.
Darling, the way these things usually go, you could bend over backwards and kiss their feet - they'd still find a way to turn you into public enemy number one!
His accommodation over the Christmas period is so far from being your problem it's not funny, a plain no is all you need to say. Though personally, I'd be asking them who the hell they think they are to be audaciously imposing on you this way!
Change the locks! No way!
It’s not even an option. You guys are not a couple and he isn’t welcome. He can find somewhere else to stay.
Is it his house too? If so and you won't be there.....
Is it both of your house? If you don't have a rental agreement with him you can't really stop him, this is something you will have to sort out with him.
It's both our house. I will only be away for a few days and this will be for a few weeks.
I am in the process of sorting out the house and finances.
Yeah.... no.
In these situations, the party who leaves the family home then has no right of return (my sister was the one who left and we had to explain to her should could not act like she still lived there).
Obviously, this has been your home exclusively for at least 6 months so the precedent has been set.
Practice this “That does not work for me. You will need to make other arrangements””. Repeat, as required.
He isnt your problem, and neither are his living arrangements. You are separated - he and his family need to get used to the new world order.
I suggest you contact a solicitor (many will give you a session for free) and see how you go about legally changing the locks - In case he decides to use your absence as an opportunity to move back in.
Yeah.... no.
In these situations, the party who leaves the family home then has no right of return (my sister was the one who left and we had to explain to her should could not act like she still lived there).
Obviously, this has been your home exclusively for at least 6 months so the precedent has been set.
Practice this “That does not work for me. You will need to make other arrangements””. Repeat, as required.
He isnt your problem, and neither are his living arrangements. You are separated - he and his family need to get used to the new world order.
I suggest you contact a solicitor (many will give you a session for free) and see how you go about legally changing the locks - In case he decides to use your absence as an opportunity to move back in.