Hey...
Just feeling like I need some input...
I've had a lot of life events/changes happen the last few years... And I really don't cope.
I'm over stretched with 4 kids. I've always been a perfectionist and wanted everything perfect for my kids, a great childhood really.
Problem is. I don't feel like I connect with my kids. I have a great husband, who does lots, is a great dad and does his best... And yet I'm still feeling misserable and unsatisfied. I love my kids but I just feel disinterested and like I don't connect like other people with their kids.
What is wrong with me? Why can't I be the mum they deserve? Feeling lost....
3 Replies
I wonder how much of this is true and how much is you being too hard on yourself?
Sounds to me like this is the perfectionist speaking, telling you if it's not perfect then you're doing shit. And possibly anxiety saying that it's not real and will all come crashing down any moment.
Are you comparing your real life worst moments to the instaworthy snapshots of others?
I feel this is a mental problem, either talking yourself down that you're not doing well enough, or it rings bells of depression when you feel a disconnect from your kids, or it's not how you thought it should be.
So if it persists, seek psych help.
Do you make time to connect with them? I am very similar with the perfectionist part and wanting to be the best mum for them, that sometimes I get caught up with everything else and find myself too busy to actually connect with them. And I know I just really need to make the time and effort to do it. It is hard because I work part time and the rest of our days are filled with appointments and house work but I think it just comes down to priorities and making the time to play one-on-one or giving yourself extra time at bedtime to lay with them and talk with them..
Sounds like PND to me, though I’m not a doctor but am suffering through it at the moment and I often feel the same.
4 kids is exhausting as well. Feels like survival mode most of the time.