I think I have a stalker.
This man works at my local supermarket. I go there maybe twice a week. I have seen him waking around but didn't notice anything strange. Then one day I was in there and he came up to me after he had past me about 4 times that day and sad to me "excuse me do you mind if I tell you something" I said no. He said "you have absolutely beautiful eyes" I said "well thank you" he continued on telling me he has wanted to tell me this for a while now as he sees me in here oven.
I was in a few times later and again he came up to me saying "do you mind if I tell you something else, you also have a beautiful smile".
This was well over a month ago maybe two. Every time Im in there he makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel followed. It was a coincidence anymore that he was always in the same isle as me.
Went shopping with my mum last week and told her about him. She watched him for me. I was looking at cakes and he was hanging around. I got cream on my hands and rushed off to get some baby wipes I turned around and he was coming towards me I mad a run for it in the other direction down to another aisle. And he was then coming down the same isle!
When I was at the check out pretending to look at food but was looking at me the whole time. Mum told me it wasn't in my Head anymore, he was watching and following me for real.
The times he has past he has smiled at me and mouthed hello. He knows what car I drive as he has been out handing around the car park.
Today I went in feeling on edge and again he was following me. As I was coming out of an isle he walked into my trolly apologising saying he didn't see me. He then started to walk next to me, I started to shake and he said to me "can I ask you something" again I said what. He said "do you mid me looking at you". Omg he has just admitted he has been looking at me. I said "no I don't it's a bit much, and I have a boyfriend" you should have seen his face. He was taken back and said "oh I don't mean like that, you ha e nice eyes and you know that as I have told you that, and I like looking at them". I told him it makes me uncomfortable. What a sicko. I feel so proyof my self for saying stop. I have never been able to stick up for myself against men. He walked off. When I was heading out to my car he was hanging at the trolley bay. One of his mates or me coming and tapped him as if to say there she is. He turned around and smiled at me I out my head down and got into my car so fast and didn't put my trolly back.
I feel so sick. I don't want to shop there anymore. What should I do? He just a creep or a stalker?
My dauyhas been there on the he has complimented me. She's only a toddler
Stalker
Stalker
Posted in:
Mental Health
9 Replies
Report him to management. They will want to know. Then stop shopping there.
He is being very unprofessional and creepy, but no evidence of actual stalking yet.
If he asks ‘do you mind if I ask you something’ say you do mind and tell him to bugger off!
Go to a different shop.
Start shopping somewhere else. It’s creepy but he isn’t stalking you. If it made you feel that uncomfortable you should have spoken up straight away.
Report him. Brief version of what you said here - approached you x times. Said 'xyz'
Make sure you include the conversation where you told him you mind and to stop.
He's not stalking you or he would be following you home and following you around. You're going to him. It sounds like he has a crush on you which doesn't make him creepy, it's how he makes you feel or what he does that makes him creepy to you. You can tell him straight that you're not interested or take your boyfriend shopping once so he gets the picture. If he still does not leave you alone then you can speak to his manager. Looking at you and saying hello etc is not anything to worry about, but I can understand his forwardness has made you uncomfortable and that makes it OK to put him back in his place.
https://www.police.nsw.gov.au/crime/domestic_and_family_violence/what_is...
Check out the above link, some of his behaviour could certainly be interpreted as mild stalking or at least heading in that direction.
There's also some information about keeping safe etc.
Don't let anyone make you feel like you're over reacting here. It's persistent and making you feel unsafe. His behaviour is not okay, doesn't matter if he does have a crush on you. It's also not your fault because you didn't express your discomfort the first time it happened because it was inappropriate even if you had enjoyed it.
Go to a different shop. Tell centre management. Make a police report if you feel inclined. This sounds very much to me like he has a disability and finds you a bit infatuating. It's highly likely, based on the fact that he asked if you mind and was shocked that you indicated feeling intimidated that it affects social interactions (i.e. ASD, though that's not the only condition) and that his behaviour, whilst uncomfortable, has no malicious intent. However, his actions could also describe initial infatuation of someone with delusional thoughts that, if they escalated, could become something that became dangerous. From the snapshot that you have presented, my gut is that you are safe. But I think it's worth heeding the part of your brain telling you that you don't feel safe.
Be an adult and either report him to management or shop somewhere else, not hard really!
Wow, compassionate 🙄