So I'm pretty angry right now!
On Thursday I got made redundant due to budget cuts but by Saturday I was offered a job with a base $15,000 pay rise with another company, I also get a company car and a fuel card... obvestly I took the job!
Catch is for that job though is I'll be working 30 min from home starting at 7:30am and finishing at 5:30pm with some Saturday work (over time paid ontop) kids can go to their dad's no problem but he Dosent pay childsupport so I took it upon myself to support them and theyre no cheap!.. Alll my family had to say is "yeah waking the kids up at 6am so you can work is good for them isn't it" and "I'm not helping you, you got yourself into this, they're your responsibility you do this on your own"...
I'm so disheartened by this and feel like I need to turn the job down to parent the way they want me to (my mum did work till I was 16 and was on centrelink till the). I don't want to sit on my butt on centrelink just making ends meat when I have the opportunity to earn $60,000+ a year... They did exactly the same thing when I brought my house in the West with comments about my "bad decision". In 29 yrs old single mum of 2 (4 & 8), own my own house and earn $60,000+ a year, I've over come divorce and so many obsitcals with my mental health, I have been doing everything on my own for 4 yrs, why can they not just be happy for me? Why is it so hard to say "I'm proud of you" or "well done"?... Worst thing is too my brother is in prison for 6 years for armed robbery and asult with a deadly weapon, you think he could do anything wrong? Hahaha nope! I guess I'm just posting here to get it all off my chest.
14 Replies
Firstly, well done!
Secondly, you don’t say how old your kids are, but waking up early is usually part of the parcel when you have kids! They’ll adjust FINE!
Childcare/before and after school care. It’s all doable.
Saturday’s are hard, but you don’t mention if the father can help. But he should setup up Saturdays and take the kids (if he doesn’t already)
Then make sure your Sunday’s are spent loving your kids!
Spent time during school holidays with annual leave (if your kids are school aged)
You’ll all be tired at the end of the day, so make sure meals and snacks are quick n easy!
Hire a cleaner. Don’t spend Sunday’s or late nights cleaning. Spend them with the kids instead.
Well done and congrats !
Kids are 4 & 8 worst part too is my brother is in prison for armed robbery and asult with a deadly weapon and he could do no wrong. Im just the single mum over here doing my best to make sure i can support them... I literally get 0 childsupport!!
I’m totally proud of you!
You are rocking this single mum gig!
Sometimes you just have to give yourself what your family can’t.
Go you! Classic “tall poppy syndrome”
I find people often tear you down when you challenge their inner belief about the way they did life. Ie your maybe insecure about staying on Centrelink all that time when your showing her that it’s possible to move forward in another way!
Don’t waist time on people who won’t help you or support you in this journey! Head up sweetheart! You got this. Success is always way more sweet when the challenge is greater. Also research show it’s the quality of our interactions with our children not the quantity of interactions that count!
Should read your Mum maybe insecure about her choices.
You should be so proud of yourself!
Can Dad come to the kids instead of you dropping them off?
The other option is an au pair? They get free board and meals in trade of babysitting. You may still have to pay them if they need to work a lot of hours. That might be the better option, then the kids don't have to leave so early and you don't have to stress about Dad not being able to have them at the last minute. And you have another adult around.
Make Dad start forking out for things for the kids if he's not already or you will have to CSA collect. It's not fair you do this all by yourself.
Good luck with your job! Next time your parents put you down say, "Gee I wish I turned out like my brother!"
Why would you quit a job to satisfy people who aren't helping you? That's cutting off your nose to spite your face. If you want to quit something, quit letting these assholes get you down. You're doing amazing!
My mum has always been overly critical. It took me quite a long time for me to realise that things like ambition and success made her jealous. That's why she'd shit on anything I was proud of!
You should be insanely proud of yourself! This is a wonderful opportunity and obviously this new company sees your value as an employee to try and snap you up so quickly!
You're setting a great example to your kids - it's so good for kids to see their mum have such determination and a strong work ethic!
6am wake ups are nothing! It might mean rearranging your routines but the kids will adjust!
Before and after school care, kinder/daycare, babysitters, time with dad - tell your family you don't need their help because you can get shit handled like a boss!
Well done, you'll smash this new role and you'll prove all the nay sayers wrong (and that feels good).
My kids are 6,3 and 4 months. Theyve been getting up at 5.30-6am everyday. (Well the baby will soon).
I wont shelter my kids from the real world, yeah it sucks you have to get up early but it's great that mum and dad have jobs so we can have stuff.
Dont let them beat you up and dont beat yourself up xx
Firstly, well done! Keep your job and enjoy the freedom that the money brings with it. Sometimes people say things when you look like you're doing well for yourself - in a way to kind of knock you down a peg. Validate yourself, screenshot some of these replies and look through them when you need some validation. Your family are obviously not going to be there for you in that department. Be proud of what you have achieved and what you continue to achieve. You are teaching your little ones that in order to succeed, you must sacrifice. Don't let your family's negativity get you down. You do you xx
You are what I term #goals. Don't give up this opportunity. I'm so sorry your family aren't supportive. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job both as a mum and as a woman. You don't want to be living off Centrelink if possible. You wouldn't believe how fast the time goes. One day your kids will be more independent and it will be 10 times harder for you to get into work if you stay at home now. Not to mention the opportunities you will be able to give your kids if you have more money from working. It's worth it, trust me!
Maybe they can't handle anyone else's success. That's their problem not yours. Your doing fantastic. Don't let them bring you down. Getting ul early is a good habit to get ingo. All the best. You rock!
You know what?! Fuck your family!!
I am proud of you! And so are a lot of other mothers & women!
You don't need their help or their praise because you have proven that you can do it on your own. If they are more proud of your brother that is saying exactly what sort of people they are and do you really want your children to be influenced by them?
Children are resilient and getting up that early will hurt them. Maybe look in to a home daycare or before/after school care. I definitely agree with getting a cleaner.
And once again I am proud of the life you have created for you and your children!!!
Take the job if they won’t help you look at inhome care/nanny programs c/link helps rebate or au pair or pay a friend. I work most days 3am-3pm some weekends and am asleep by 7pm so see little of miss 7yo. Between my partner my parents and a good friend miss 7yo has more than enough attention and love around her and I make sure any RDOs/holidays I take time off to give her 1-1 time
Regarding wake up time. LO is always up before 6am and goes to bed between 6pm and 730pm and has no issues with sleep