Is bad sex a deal breaker?
I have met a guy who I connect with and we agree on pretty much everything from hobbies to dreams to raising kids. I get butterflies thinking about him. We both have kids from previous relationships and agreed to take things slow. We finally slept together last night and it was not great. I don't know if I should try again and see if it improves?
11 Replies
As long as he was respectful I’d give it some time before writing him off.
Sex isn’t always an immediate click and not everyone likes the same things or had the same experience.
Sometimes it takes a few goes and some communication.
If he was an asshole, disrespectful and selfish (didn’t even try and please you, made you do things you didn’t want to etc) then I’d kick him to the curb.
You had sex once! Give it a while before you decide he's bad in bed. Bad sex is fixable, if you're connecting well then give it a chance.
Consistently bad sex - yeah, probably not ideal.
First time sleeping with someone is very rarely is this cosmic, orgasmic experience. Take into consideration things like nerves, awkwardness and simply not knowing each other's preferences yet!
It's far too soon to deem your sex life dead, unless of course it was unpleasant to the point there was no respect as commenter number 1 touched on, because yeah, that's a deal breaker.
I'd try a bit harder. Would definitely be a deal breaker if it doesn't improve.. But I think sometimes it takes time to work up a connection sexually. Which is totally fine/normal.
Yes being unsatisfied is a deal breaker. Give it more than one shot though.
What was so bad about it? I don’t think bad sex is a deal breaker. Maybe he just hasn’t had the right teacher? Maybe you could teach him what you like. Like lead him into the things you like.
The poor guy was probably nervous. Give it time.
Practice makes perfect. Have to learn each other’s likes/dislikes, rhythms ect. He could of been really nervous to. I’m always nervous the first few times sleeping with someone new. I seem to over think unless I’m drunk, then I’m wild hahaha. give it time. Why right someone off when they are perfect at everything else
Depends what kind of bad, if it can be improved then no its not a deal breaker.
My husband and I didn't have a great start to our sex life either, we were perfect in every way except that, only lasted a couple of weeks and we got our groove and since then we have had amazing sex.
So definitely give it a chance
It depends on bad how? If there is no mutual respect in the bedroom and only enjoyment for 1 then it rarely gets better. If your partner is not willing or not caring to please you then it speaks alot about who they are. If they tried and it just didn't work out then its a communication issue and can be worked around. Sometimes these things do take a bit of time. Goodluck
Give him a chance. Everyone has an off day, maybe that was his.
However I don't think you necessarily have to write him off if he repeats the bad perforance, if you share your dreams and aspirations perhaps there are other ways you can deal with the sex problem down the track.
While I totally understand this it isn't for everyone there is the option of opening the relationship to have others join you down the track. Don't write off what otherwise seems like a wonderful man over 1 factor.
My husband is absolutely amazing, honestly I will never find anyone else like him, however sex is terrible between us. So we have a deal where we can sleep with others.... works for us, but I totally get that this is not an approach for everyone.