Please help.
My son 8 has special needs and is violent toward his siblings.
He has become very sneaky at getting them when I’m in the shower or toilet.
I’ve had lengthy chats about how it’s not okay and tried multiple approaches from rewarding good behaviour to disciplining bad behaviour.
He has just started saying things like his baby sister is so cute he could kill her, I spoke to
Him about she’s so cute that we want to hug her etc and now he just says it to his siblings become he knows I think it’s wrong or he has squeezed the liquid from wipes on her and says she’s just so cute he had to do it.
I obviously need to get him to see a councillor but I’m also worried they will see him as a risk to his siblings and take him away.
Does anyone know if a councillor is obligated to report it?
I obviously want to get him the help he needs and please don’t be horrible because he is still my child and unless you have a special needs child you probably couldn’t understand.
6 Replies
Yes they have to by law report it to dhs. Also if they deem him to be that much of a threat to the other children, they won’t take him away they will remove your other children
Please don’t let the fear of mandatory reporting hold you back from seeking help for him. He obviously needs it and you know it. I’m sure you’re aware what he is capable of and at his age he cannot comprehend his actions and may go too far to the point of no return. This is something I’m sure is causing you angst but you need to see it from a safety perspective.
I’d be proactive and discuss this with a doctor and then also the child psychologist yourself and find out what measures you can take to ensure your other children’s safety. Find out where you stand - is he on the NDIS scheme so you can have someone come in for assistance etc. to keep an eye on him when you shower?
A counsellor wouldn’t be appropriate in this case. You actually need very little training to call yourself a counsellor.
Child psychologist who specialises in your sons disability would be more appropriate.
The chances of them removing your son from the home is zero. I used to work in homes for psychologists where there were complex and extreme behaviours. Getting a behaviour plan in place is crucial and will show that you are taking the situation seriously. Doing nothing is actually more likely to get you reported.
When my own son (ASD) was taking his chances while I went to the loo or shower, I started locking him in the bathroom with me.
Absolutely agree with the above commenter!
I would first go see your GP for a referral to a paediatrician and a child psychologist because this all sounds a little beyond the expertise of a standard counsellor (especially school counsellors if you were thinking of going down that road).
Also, contrary to popular belief, DHS don't just remove children willy nilly. It is their aim to give families the tools and support to keep them unified (I have a friend who is a social worker that works in child safety so I have a little insight).
You're probably going to get a few "a friend of a friend of mine had their kids taken for no reason" horror stories and you're probably going to get some comments from people who have absolutely no clue about the process so I urge you ignore these types of unhelpful comments.
And to be frank, if my meth addict neighbours still have custody of their kids despite numerous reports and DHS involvement - they aren't going to remove your kids when you're trying to be proactive!
Get your boy the help he needs and don't fear DHS involvement, in many cases they can actually help!
At 8, his expressions may be being interpreted 1 way by you when he's trying to express something else. I'm wondering whether he's feeling jealous? Find a child psychologist or a general psychologist clinic that typically work with children. Looking up secret agent society providers in your area might help as that is an excellent program designed for children 8-12. It is expensive but you don't necessarily need to enrol in that program. Finding a psychologist that offers it will help you know who specialises in kids. Also, children get taken away when the home they live in is unsafe. You have a boy that obviously has big emotions and impulse control. And you're seeking support and not ignoring the behaviour. Even if someone did report, the whole picture is considered. Get things happening asap. But be careful not to make your son feel like he isn't normal or the behaviour will escalate.
If you work with them they'll trust you. If you hide or downplay what he's doing to protect him when though you know it's a risk to the youngest then they will be concerned about your ability to protect them.
Go to a paed and psychologist. I've discussed DV with them and wasn't reported. As long as you're being proactive they will trust you and help you.