I’ve had suspicions my partner was doing something he shouldn’t...
Bit of background..in the past he has talked to other girls online from hook up sites while in our relationship.His piss weak excuse was he gets lonely(we don’t live together).We sorted through it all..set boundaries on what is not exceptable behaviour etc.
Recently I had a gut feeling something was up.We sat down and had a mature convo but he maintained everything was good and nothing untoward was going on.I suspected he may have been lying as he does lie unless caught red handed so to speak.
So I set a trap.And caught him out.Wasnt physical but online/messages.I posed as a female that was the reason my partner and I had issues one year ago.Back then I told him no contact whatsoever with her.
He fell for the trap and was planning on having this female come visit to drink and smoke etc and”chill” in his room as long as things don’t get out of control.Or get a room or go camping.He said he wouldn’t want me to rock up while she was there or fists would fly from my end and he had a few ideas.He also said to keep quiet about it and that he has put on weight since they last seen each other and not to get her hopes up too much.
They did hang out in person abit (his words) when we had a break of our relationship.I suspect they had sex then but I’m not a prude and if him and I weren’t together at that time..I’m ok with that.
What I’m not ok with is him making arrangements to do all this with this female.I called him out on it and his excuse was oh I had a feeling it was you that’s why I chatted.I don’t believe it for a second.And said bullshit.You got caught saying things you should never say to anyone if your in a relationship.He also said it’s not like it was a normal thing and he went out looking for someone..I got messaged first.I told him that doesn’t make it ok to say or arrange to meet someone.
Yes I brought it on myself by setting the trap but with our history and the way I felt I had to know if he would go chatting etc inappropriately again as he swore he would never do it again.
I’m ready to walk away but how can I move past the hurting as I don’t doubt for a second that if the scenario was genuine,he would’ve actually done all the above.
9 Replies
Why are you with someone you don’t trust? Is your self worth so low that you have to keep hanging on to him?? If he’s done it before he’ll do it again and keep doing it. Why keep him around you aren’t even living together. Get rid of him before it becomes permanent. Honestly you sound like an idiot for staying with him. You are worth so much more.
I’ll let you in on a little secret, all the discussions and boundary setting, means nada to him.
He didn’t need you to set them because he already knew he was crossing them.
He’s was hiding it.
He crosses boundaries knowingly and intentionally.
You were wasting your breath.
Please get some self esteem and move on, you deserve so much better.
You don’t live together, I assume you don’t have kids, so it can be a clean break.
Oh you'll move past it quite easily. I know it hurts but it sure hurts less in a few months time when that story ends with of course his ass got bounced.
If you don't want a relationship like that, don't waste your time being in one. Move on.
Is this how you want to live your life? Life is too short to live in this kind of drama/toxic fuelled relationship.
Why would you be ok with a guy who lies unless he’s caught red handed?
WALK AWAY! Don’t waste another second on him!
Funny. if he wrote in we'd tell him to leave you. This relationship sounds unhealthy every way you look at it.
Run for the hills Mumma. You’re worth more than that. He won’t change. Don’t put yourself through more hurt.
Take some time to work on yourself. Build self esteem, know your worth. All the best. Xx
Run I wish I had he will not stop !!
Walk away, you will be better off by yourself without a cheating drop kick of a partner.