Hi IMs. I have just found out that I have gyno cancer, I am due to have surgery within the next few weeks to remove the tumours and if that is unsuccessful will have to begin radiation. I'm only 28 and have 3 kids under 6. I'm looking for advice on how to get my family through this. I'm absolutely terrified and want to still be a good mum to my kids and don't want them to suffer. Also how do I explain this to my eldest child? Has as anyone been through this? TIA
6 Replies
Sorry to hear that. I've not been through what you've been through. I have been through really rough times of my own though. What really helped was using the community around me. Don't try and go it alone ask family, friends etc to help out especially in recovery time after your surgery. Any job that can be outsourced so you can rest and be there for your kids is a good plan. Contact the cancer council they are an excellent resource regarding services and counselling. They may even have some resources to help you explain to the kids. Wishing you all the best
So sorry for you,no advice but my mum got diagnosed with cancer when I was a teen was so hard, just knowing that cancer can lead to death I was petrified. I think your life maybe turned up side down for a while. Just roll with the punches, let your emotions out & comfort you kids when theirs also do.
I hope you have a strong support network around you.
Good luck be strong & fight this xx
I have no idea, just wanted to wish you the best for treatment and speedy recovery.
I'm not sure on what advise to give you either. Just want to wish you all the best xxx
Hi. I have just finished about 18 months of cancer treatment. My best advice would be to accept help. I took the decision to be quite open about what I was going through and it meant that people really rallied round to help me and my family. If they ask what you need, tell them. I could do with some meals. I could do with some child minding. I could really use some help with the housework/washing/shopping. Speak up. Its ok to be scared. Can you find a support group for young women going through the same thing? There are a few on FB that are great. Don't beat yourself up if you're not your usual kind of mum, you will have a little quiet patch where the kids will have to accept that things are a bit different, but honestly they're so young, they'll be ok. Take time out for yourself, whether that means exercise, sleep, something you enjoy.... as you can already see, your mental health will take a few knocks with all the stuff you have to digest. All the best for your treatment, I hope it turns out to be best possible scenario.
I was 6 when my mum first had cancer. I don't remember the exact wording or being told. But I do remember my mum being in hospital, my dad sending me to school with a hair brush so the teacher could do my hair, kids laughing at mum because she was bald etc. I think the best thing is to be age appropriately honest with your children. Tell your eldest that you have an illness that will mean that you have to go to hospital that might make you sad sometime etc. Also reassure your kids that you love them and that they can ask you questions when they need to.
Try and have someone else around, like the kids aunt or grandparent or a good family friend. Someone that can comfort the kids often too. I hated it when my mum saw that I was scared. I think if you have someone else who can answer some questions for them and comfort them when they are scared it helps.
Cancer is a horrid disease, but you have 3 perfect reasons to fight it tooth and nail. Good luck, remember that it is okay to ask for help, now you go beat cancers butt!