Ladies I need some advice please.....I was seeing a guy for about a year and he recently ended things by text.....I’ve asked to meet up to talk and he says there’s nothing to say.....do you think this is a shallow way of ending things with someone?? I feel he hates me! How do you just say goodbye to someone through a text message???
12 Replies
generally the person who has made the decision to end things have been thinking of it for sometime and are set and sure. What is there left to talk about? its over? don't degrade yourself by trying to get him to hang around.
It took me a long time to learn that nobody owes me ‘closure’ or a ‘goodbye’.
He is done and that’s all you need to know. Being broken up with face to face or by phone or letter is still a break-up and it’s still a goodbye. He’s been honest with you and you can work through your feelings without seeing him.
PS does it matter if he hates you?
What’s talking going to change? Nothing, he’s sure of the break up he doesn’t want to listen to you when he knows your just going to try and change his mind. He’s done and as long as no kids are involved you just need to take it on the chin.
Considering you weren't in a close relationship but a friendship at the end, it's fine for him to decide this. You move on. I know your heart wants to see him and talk it out, but there really is nothing to say. Just focus on moving on.
I suspect he just didn't want to drag it out, talk, work things out in any way and was probably in a way trying to spare your feelings. A text is a sure fire way to do that.
To be honest, I'd prefer to be dumped quickly via text that getting dumped and "let down gently" in person, especially if the latter took place in public...
All you can do is accept it. It is what it is!
10 years together, a child and a divorce, no closure.
I learnt that closure gives you nothing anyway, whatever they say, they are either trying to spare your feelings or just plain lying.
Sometimes there’s no specific reason.
He doesn’t want to be with you, the reason is irrelevant, it’s sounds harsh, but that’s your closure.
Been there, the sooner you learn this, the better off you’ll be.
What could he say that would actually make you feel better?
You’re not his cup of tea, doesn’t make you less than, you’re just not his flavour.
What an arse! I was broken up with via text once, I was 20 at the time and dealt with it by going out and getting completely drunk and partying with the girls!!! Glad he let you know what a sick he was early on though, once you’ve stopped hurting you’ll see your worth and he didn’t deserve you xo
I honestly wouldn't bother.
I had a boyfriend of 3 years, who ended it by stopping all forms of communication with me lol! I obviously was unaware of this and continued to call/msg him etc and he just didn't respond.
The only time he contacted me was after my cat (of 18 years) passed away. And he had the hide to tell me I should have told him she passed away lol.
Just move on and be happy with yourself. If he's not feeling it, so be it.
I found writing an email and deleting without sending it to anyone helped. It got out what I needed to say and put my mind to rest.
So when I was young ... very long time ago I was seeing a guy for a few years and then one day (pre mobile phones) he called to say it was over he’d met someone else the previous night.
I asked to meet up because I wanted closure and my stuff back but he bluntly refused. All he said was (along these lines) he had made up his mind and wanted to stick to his decision and if he met up with me he couldn’t trust his heart.
As much as I wanted more answers I knew too we weren’t suited. I’m now married with kids and he’s also married with kids. Never spoken since.
He doesn’t hate you. He prob has someone else to fill your spot. He has no respect that’s what he has. By text - coward!
Lucky escape if u ask me. Hold your head high. And move on with dignity. Best of luck x