If I have 2 sisters, is it ok to only have one of them in my bridal party and not the other? I am close to both of them but am thinking of only asking my younger sister.
My older sister has always been there for me over the years and would always drop everything to be there for me when I needed her. She had me in her bridal party and I am her children’s godmother. The last couple of years though I am probably slightly closer to my younger sister. Is it ok to not have my older sister or am I basically being a b*^ch especially after everything she’s always done for me?
23 Replies
Are you the older sister trying to get a rise out of people? Yes it’s catty, especially after everything the older sister has done. But it is the choice of the bride. Personally I’m not having either of my sisters as apart of my bridal party or my SIL l love them all and my older sister has done so much for me. But if I have anyone it’s my besties. Even then I’m not wanting a huge bridal party and I couldn’t just pick one so I probably won’t havw any at all.
Could you possibly give older sister a different part in your wedding?
No I’m the middle sister. I can only have 2 bridesmaids and really want my friend as one. I’m just stuck on what to do. Deep down I know it’s probably not the right thing but wanted to see what others thought. I thought of involving her kids as a way of involving her but there are too many nephews and nieces on both sides so I thought that wasn’t fair either.
If I were your older sister I would be very hurt.
Don't have either sister. It's not fair to have one without the other. Have just your girlfriend. Less is more.
Both or none! Absolutely no reason to exclude her, that’s horrible :(
You should have her. Don't base it on a few years, sounds like she'll be there forever just put her in.
I’m that awkward person that does a lot out of obligation. So I’d be both or none. I was very blessed my hubby has happy to have my brother on his side. So my heart was at ease on the day!
Is there a reason you can't have 3 bridesmaids? i mean, is it financial limitations or just that your hubby to be only has 2 groomsmen or some other reason?
I don't have any sisters so I can't really draw on my experiences but i do think it's likely that she would be hurt, I'd probably find a way to include them both or just go with your best friend as your maid of honour.
My fiancé is only having 2 so we were trying to keep it even.
I wanted 3, hubby just had to up his team :-)
As someone that no longer speaks to one of my bridesmaids I wish I had just gone with family. I'm also a sister with 3 brothers and have felt the sting for each of their weddings when everyone is in the bridal party except me
Both or none.
It's common these days not to have the exact same bridesmaids as your partner has groom's so if that's the reason you only feel you can pick one, then don't worry about it being uneven numbers.
I'd only say you could pick one if you weren't close with her but sounds like she's an amazing sister and would be very hurt by you excluding her so don't do it.
Agree with the others, both or none.
You know what the right thing to do is, you said it yourself.
Dont turn your wedding into an event which causes resentment, rifts or hurt.
Have your family...your friend will understand.
Weddings are stressful enough without extra dramas. Either both or none.
Can the third choice be the Matron Of Honour then ? Find a different role for your friend , and have your two sisters as the bridesmaids .
I have 2 younger sister's. I had just my youngest sister as my bridesmaid and a friend. I'm not particularly close to either of my sister's but this particular sister and I have grown closer the past 4 years. I didn't even consider the other sister as I would of had to pay for absolutely everything including flights from the other side of the country. I think you should have both or none but then again it's your wedding.
I would be offended. Would you be offended if your younger sister got married and only asked your older sister to be a bridesmaid?
I only have one sister and she had two bridesmaids and I wasn’t one of them. It sent a very clear message about our relationship and I was very offended
Why can’t you have 3 bridesmaids and include everyone and her children? The bridal party doesn’t have to match. I have been to MANY weddings where the bride and groom has had different amounts of people standing next to them.
I would personally include everyone. You’ll regret it if you don’t. I don’t see why you can’t have both sisters and your friends as well as her kids.
Wow! I can't believe how many people are saying both or non! I personally have 3 sisters. I am only having one of them as a bridesmaid. The other 2 are still very much involved in the planning of the wedding & will both probably doing a reading each at the ceremony. I love all of my sisters equally, the one I'm having is just a lot closer in age to me so we kind of grew up closer together then the other 2. There is definitely no hard feelings though!
If you want 1 sister & 1 friend say go for it!
My best friend of 35 years always said when she got married I would be bridesmaid and vice versa, she never even invited me to her engagement party or her wedding and I was gutted her definition of best friend certainly differed to mine, in the end or friendship fell apart and I never spoke to her for about 5 years. Until she reached out after her husband passed.
As the sister that was left out I get it but it still hurt a lot :'( you are the bride and it is your choice and hopefully she will understand and want cause too much drama but she will be upset
Im the older sister of 3. I had both of them as bridesmaids at my wedding. When my middle sister got married only the younger sister was invited in the bridal party. It hurt. She didnt care much. Her excuse was because I had a 1 yr old. However, when my sister got all her bridesmaids a gift, she got our mother and I a gift also and it was different to the bridesmaids to make it a bit more special. You could do that for her if you decide not have her included. Make her feel special and part of your big day in a different way. She has been there for you for life and will want to be on the day. Goodluck!
My sister didn't have me in her wedding but did have our younger sister. She didn't have a good reason for it and the sting never really went away.
It sounds like you have an amazing sister. Why wouldn't you want her as part of your big day?!