Hi Girls,
I need your help. I suffer depression and anxiety as well as a heap of other health conditions. That means my kids have a chance of inheriting my mental health issues.
My DD (nearly 12 but well into puberty) told me yesterday she’s had suicidal thoughts. Things like “everyone would be better off without me” and “I wish I wasn’t born”. She asked me if that’s normal. I know it’s normal for me but I have depression and anxiety. I would love to hear from Mums who don’t have mental health issues as to whether its normal to have those sorts of thoughts as a teenager or whether this might be signalling she has depression.
I know this sounds stupid but I can only speak of my own experience and I definitely had those sorts of thoughts as a teen but does every girl?
Please help.
2 Replies
No, not every teen. I had those thoughts, by I also struggled with depression.
I think it’s always best to seek help early.
It is better to get help and support now before it becomes an even bigger issue. My 12 year old son has struggled this year, he started high school, his great grandfather died then four months later his grandfather died, he has a physical disability and has really started to feel different to his friends. Early last term two of his teachers told me they had had conversations with him where he has ended in tears because of how he was feeling. I was unsure of whether to get him counseling. I knew he was struggling with his grief, but thought he was starting to improve. Whenever I suggested counseling he refused. He then started saying he wished he wasn’t alive, that we’d be better off if he was around. I got him in with a GP and got a mental health care plan for him, then organised a psychologist. The first appointment consisted of me going in by myself to give all the background info, then my son went in for a short getting to know you activity. Afterwards he thanked me for organising it. I gave him an hour or so after the appointment to decompress a little before dropping him off at school. Two hours later school rang me asking me to go in for a chat because he’d told a friend he was thinking about going home and stabbing himself. I ended up taking him to emergency for a full mental health assessment. He was sent home as they didn’t think he was a danger to himself or anyone else. It’s been a struggle for him as well as myself, but him seeing a psychologist is the best thing for all of us. He has someone to talk to that can help him with strategies that will reduce the stress and negative thoughts he has.
I don’t remember having thoughts like that when I was 12 but maybe that is normal now (I’m 40). I would have organised the counseling sooner for my son if I had known how quickly things would escalate.