My husband and I live the other side of the world from both our families.
We have 2 young boys and I am finding it so difficult being away from my parents and family.
Our initial plan was to stay here for one year but my husband loved it here so wanted to say longer.... So 8 years later we're still here and he won't even discuss moving back to our home country.
I've never really been happy here and have stayed for my husband, so he can progress with his career.
I'm really struggling. I just want my mum near me, just for emotional support. I have no friends here. After I had my first child those who I thought were friends completely dropped out of my life.
We both work full time, I manage everything with our boys and the household.
Mentally I can't continue doing this. I need a village and I feel like I don't even have a neighbour here.
I'm at the stage where I just want to take the boys and go home.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How do I explain to my husband that I mentally and emotionally cannot do this anymore?
I'm not expecting to move home and have all this extra help with the boys or household. I just want to be near, for a cuppa, for a hug, to go for lunch with my mum, go to the shops with my sister, have Sunday dinner with my family. And for our boys to grow up with their family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.
Everyday my heart is breaking more and I'm really starting to resent my husband for not seeing how this is effecting me.
Coping living away from your family
Coping living away from your family
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
3 Replies
I would suggest counselling and if he still won’t budge take the kids home for a holiday and refuse to come back!
Which country are you living in? Were your children born in that or the home country?
Would it be difficult for you to come back with the boys without your husband? These are things you need to consider because if the children were born there it adds another whole dimension with legal rights I guess.
I really think you will need to go to some type of counselling,on your own and together.
I hope you can find a solution that will help you find your happiness xx
The grass isn’t always greener. Sounds like you have romanticised going back. To the point that it makes you miserable. That is a form of self sabotage and I suggest you get some counselling to work out why you haven’t made friends or built a network in 8 years. It’s not your husbands job to make you happy, you need to put the effort in too. I know this is harsh what I am saying, I have been exactly where you have been. Numerous times, and each time it never was how I romanticised (thought) it would be. One day I said to myself that I don’t want to be unhappy anymore, I can’t physically change my location so I am going to focus on being happy here, because that way I can be happy anywhere, essentially taking that happiness with me. It obviously wasn’t this simple, it took 12 months of counselling and stepping out of my comfort zone, facing my fears. Making promises to myself and seeing them through. You got this, you can do it. Start focusing on you, on being happy no matter where you are.