Hi. My husband works night shifts, quite often with a ‘lesbian’ woman. He says she is one of his best friends. I’m not allowed to ask her to events or contact her etc as apparently she’s “one of the boys”. When we do very occasionally attend the same event together, it’s very awkward, she won’t talk to me. Have only met her twice in the past 3-4years. She did have a girlfriend but recently found out they broke up - he didn’t want to go into it. I’ve brought it up before and he just laughs and calls me stupid, then gets mad that I would even think anything was going on. But my gut feels funny. Any advice?
22 Replies
Have you done any social media stalking? Do her profiles indicate she is interested in women???
All social media accounts on all platforms are private and I cannot access.
I'm assuming you haven't sneaky logged in via husbands phone?? ... What makes it awkward when you've seen her at events? Is it just that you dont know each other and dont talk or does she avoid you. How does husband behave when you two are in the same room?
It's really weird for her to be one of his best friends and not polite to you. Sure she might not want to be your friend, but a mate puts on a good act with their friends partners.
Do you not trust him, or just dislike her? What do you want him to do about it?
Sounds a little sus to me. I would trust your gut...
Sweet Jesus. The only reason there would be something going on is if she was lying about being a lesbian. If she had a girlfriend chances are she is a lesbian or bi. She might be awkward with you because you are her attracted sex, just like sometimes your husbands guy friends might feel awkward about talking to you by themselves. If they find you attractive then sometimes they feel really awkward talking to you in case your partner thinks something of it. Happens often actually. I think you need to let it be.
Unlike males , very rarely are females 100 percent gay . Although they may lead more to one preference over the other , almost all of them are bi-sexual and either are, or have been attracted to both sexes .
Yep, obviously your husbands friend isn't properly gay and wants to shag his brains out 😂🙄
Honestly...
(Note the sarcasm here)
Wtf. I know quite a few lesbians and they are 'properly' gay. A few I've known since they were kids and even all the way back then it was obvious they were gay. Don't confuse lesbians with straight girls who might kiss other girls for attention.
You might know a few genuinely gay lesbians , and they are out there for sure . But look up statistics , genuine gay women are no where near as common as bisexual women OR women who were once with men and are now with women .
You are, without a doubt, the winner of the most idiotic, closed minded and completely incorrect comment of the day award.
Congratulations. 🏆
'Lesbian' 🤦♀️ ffs
Why write it like that?? Not everyone is after your 'man' 🙄.
Her sexual preference is irrelevant. It's not up to you or anyone else here to question her sexuality, that is her business!
You either trust your husband or you don't, to be honest it sounds like you don't. Whether that mistrust comes from your insecurities or real red flags, I don't know.
I really feel like the responses here are only going to increase your suspicions and paranoia. You're going to get a heap of women who are convinced your hubby is cheating when they don't know you, your husband, the dynamics of the situation.
None of us can know what's going on!
I wish a lesbian had taken my ex off my hands lol
A mistake a lot of people make with there friends is complaining about there partner to them. Then the friend forms an idea about the partner based on all of the negatives they’ve been told. Also if he has lead her to believe you are the ‘jealous type’ or ‘crazy’ then she isn’t going to like you and it’s going to be hard for her to be natural and friendly around you.
I feel like there has to be more to it.
If my husband was hanging around a female, I'd trust him 100% and if not, I'd ask him honestly and believe his word which ever it was he gave me.
Do you have any other reason to not trust him?
Stuff the girl, stuff the fact she's a lesbian, stuff the fact she's a snob. DO YOU TRUST YOUR HUSBAND? That's the real question here.
I think a lot of people maybe have read this the wrong way. I have interpreted the fact that lesbian is in quotations because maybe your partner has said this and you're unsure if it's true.
It does seem a little sus especially when you say he wouldnt go into the breakup, male or female my husband tells me more about his friends lives than I really care about to be honest 😂
Maybe have a real sit down and see if you can invite the friend round for dinner to get to know her more so she could be part of the family per se (parties, events etc) if this gets rejected I'd start pushing how uncomfortable you are with the secrecy.
Hi with your guy it’s a cover story...!! Maybe she has switched back to men and that man is your husband!! What has he got to hide??
They either broke up coz she’s seeing your husband behind your back and she was never a lesbian or she’s switched sides for your husband. Go with your gut!
Your gut knows more than your brain. I promise you. Trust your gut
Very sus to me. I suspected my husband had something going on with his so called “mate from school” turns out they’d been fucking for 5 months ! Trust your gut & don’t give up until you get the answers you’re looking for.
My advice is trust your gut. I felt funny about my partners ‘lesbian’ co-worker. Voiced my concerns on multiple occasions and got made to feel like a paranoid psycho, only to find out they had been sleeping together for weeks.
The most telling thing was asking to see his phone since everything was supposedly innocent and getting told no.