Hey IMs (and IDs that are reading, you might be able to help)
I’ve been with my husband for twenty years, and he’s been my only sexual partner.
While I don’t mind the wild sex (and it’s probably pretty vanilla in terms of others), my favourite has always been the intimate chest to chest stuff. It makes me feel cherished, loved and wanted.
However over the last few years, especially the last couple of months we are losing that intimacy as we, especially my husband, have put on weight and our stomachs get in our road. Brutally honest he can’t see his erection for his stomach anymore. He’s not fat all over, just has a big hard sticky out beer gut despite not being a drinker. I can no longer wrap my arms full around him. Any chest to chest stuff is now uncomfortable, awkward or even painful as I feel squashed and can’t breathe if he’s on top. Even if I’m on top, I can’t lie chest to chest as my head is way lower than my middle and it sets my vertigo off. Side to side (facing either way) means we have to angle our bodies apart.
I’ve been working on losing weight, some weeks better than others, although I’m not huge, I’m a size 14. However he has no desire to and that’s his choice. I cook healthy enough, but he’s a grown man and I can’t stop him going and buying stuff or eating extra for tea, I usually cook enough for leftovers to have for lunch but he eats it all at dinner, so I’ll have to stop that now. He tells me he’s not worried if he dies young or gets really unwell, so I’ve had to condition myself to try not to fuss too much about his health because it makes me really anxious to the point of breakdown.
It’s not that I don’t find him attractive anymore, I thinks he’s fucking hot and some days I fantasise about shagging him all day and can’t wait until he comes home to jump his bones. I just really miss that whole body closeness when we make love. Any suggestions on positions etc? I feel like we just don’t fit together properly anymore and I don’t know what to do and I feel so sad.
3 Replies
Edge of the bed , squatting , scissor sex , and doggy style . Those are the best ones for positioning if there's a weight issue . mY husband is 140 - 150 kilos and I'm 65 kilos so because of his big frame , these positions are the only ones we can do . There is also hints and tips online regarding sex positions and there is literally thousands of them. Theres a book based on drawings of a multitude of positions too but I've forgotten the name of it . Its brilliant! Have fun Practicing some of them and find which ones are just right for both of you . You'll be surprised what you can still do as a heavier person . Best of luck ..
Were you thinking of the Kama Sutra?
We are in a similar situation with my husband gaining some significant weight around his waist.
We still have sex daily but I totally agree with you that the tummy does get in the way.
We’ve found reverse cowgirl works well, toys and finishing or starting with me on top.
Experiment with other ways of making progress then try finishing in your fav position. Don’t stress too much about the weight. Where there’s a will, there’s a way ;)