What to do?
I am a few yrs as a single mum now. I have changed my life and done some things that i am super proud of. I recently bought a house and the guy I've been seeing off and on for a 2 yrs moved in.
We are both commitment phobes and this was a decision made to have a proper go of things.
He is really sweet and caring, but i believe is a bit of an alcoholic. I didn't realise before he moved in that he drinks every bloody night. Money is really tight and ive not been charging anything first little while because he is still in between places and paying rent elsewhere.
But. While he has no money to put in for food and fuel he has enough to buy 3 or 4 cartons of beer a fortnight.
I don't know if im being overly sensitive. I realise there is an adjustment period to go through. But i am starting to think it just isnt a good idea to go down this road with him.
Wtf am i doing?
Wtf am i doing?
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage
9 Replies
I'd be furious if someone told me they couldn't pay for food and then went and got alcohol! I think you need to address this sooner rather than later! And I think it's only fair that he contributes to the household costs - if he can't because he is still under a lease for his old place I wouldn't have him moving in until it can be done properly!
He can buy alcohol but can’t pay his way? Ummm, nope. He is an alcoholic and won’t change. I would also be very careful having him move in. If things do south in a little while he is in titled to half of your house.
You are under reacting. 3-4 cartoons a fortnight is a hell of a lot of of beer! He isn’t a bit of an alcoholic, he is an alcoholic.
You need to pull the pin on this situation now (especially if you have kids).
If a relationship wasn’t working when you lived separately, moving in together won’t ‘make a real go of it’.
Don’t be the lady who writes in 4 years later wondering why the bloke is still spending all his money on booze and is drunk all the time.
Kick him back into the place he's still paying rent in. Just say, "sorry money is really tight atm and I can't have you live here until you can afford to pitch in. We will look at it again when your lease is up". Then use that as your chance to end it if the drinking bothers you too much.
He's probably spending anywhere from $100 to $200 a fortnight on beer, possibly more depending on his choice of poison.
You aren't being over sensitive, you're actually severely under reacting!
He's happily taking you for a ride babe. Sweet guys don't put their drinking above basic necessities, especially if money is tight.
It's likely to get a hell of a lot worse before, if it ever gets better.
I think you're 100 % right to not want to walk this road with him, walking away now is gonna be 50 times easier than 12 months down the track - keep that in mind!
Ok as a single mum life is tough enough! You don’t need to be carrying dead weight! NEXT!
Uh nope. Out he goes. You're being a mug and you definitely don't want to sign up for this. You just bought a house!! Don't jeopardise that or waste it letting a freeloader bring you down.
GET HIM OUT!!
I could have written this a few years ago, then the extra money went to more alcohol and drugs, time to protect yourself and get him out!