I've been single for a while now. I'm 26 I know it's not old and I have time but I want love I miss it.
I've spent alot of time learning to love my self I've got my self to a really good place where I think it could be time.
I'm a full time mum to a beautiful little girl.
When I was 18 I meet her dad. I was head over heals in love. Out first kiss I felt actual Sparks that you hear about in books. I couldn't get enough of him. Every time he touched me I would get chills. I my stomach would flip. And we made love we didn't "f***" as people seem to call it these days.
He left for work a few months in and I remember just falling to the grown as be drove off I was a mess the thought of being apart for 3 months was unbearable.
We separated when I was pregnant he broke my heart completely shattered it.
I meet someone 2 years later (he too broke it) but it wasn't that sort of love there weren't sparks it was hard work from day one looking back. But I thought that was because he was my second man and nothing can be like the first. He was just an asshole.
I've started dating again. But there is nothing there with any of them. If we do sleep together they always refer it to "f******". To me is discussing and degrading "do you want to f me. Or can I f you".
There is a game, who knew dating was a game. There are so many rules. I've started to learn it. One guy I started to date he didn't play the game at all or so I thought. He threw me off then he changed. He had his own game.
Ah dating is hard work.
Is the dating world now just a game, friends with benefits and bootie calls. Men arnt romantic they aren't ready to settle, they are all the same.
Do you think you can find love like the first?
I'm starting to miss having a connection with someone really it's been 5 years since I get close to some one.
All my friends are married now and have kids. I love my daughter more than anything but I want someone now to love and be loved back
Dating to find love
Dating to find love
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care
4 Replies
There are some real gentlemen out there but you’ve got to sift through a lot of the others.
Some things stick out. You aren’t going to find someone who made you feel like your first love. If you do, you need to run. That’s not love, that’s passion and lust that comes along with being young and your hormones are RAGING at that age. Real love, takes longer to develop, it may have some passion and sparks in there but it isn’t all sparks and passion. It’s much much deeper. Sometimes the sparks don’t come until after you’ve known someone a long time.
Don’t waist your time on guys who don’t make you feel comfortable. If they use language you don’t like, that’s fine, call them out on it. It’s ok to kick them to the curb if they are a turn off.
Unfortunately you are going to date some guys you don’t like, that’s ok. Just recognise that they aren’t right and stop seeing them. Dating is about ‘trying people on’, finding out ‘if they fit’. Like a lot of pairs of jeans, a lot aren’t going to fit and then you finally find the right fit!
Rule number one
You usually don't find when you search for it.
I was sooo in love with my first love. The second was very kind but I had no spark like the first. Still enjoyed his company though.
And then I was single for two years, so many idiots just like you describe.... And then one day I found my mister right. We were hard work from day one but he got my heart. The spark. We are together since four years and get along well. Hang in there. Just don't be desperate and settle for second best
When you hang out with bikies with Tatts, chase every guy you see when you know they are no good for you, you will end up being in abusive relationships. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, just stop. Get your living situation sorted, the work situation sorted, your daughters therapies and issues under control. Focus on the important stuff for now because in your current mindset, you are going to continue to attract all the wrong type of guys. Study, work, independence, that’s what you need before you even consider a guy. You alway say you’ve been single for five years, but you haven’t focused on anything but finding a man, give it a rest, just be for a while.
You are still chasing the high of a guy you were with that abused you so bad you ended up in court. It is too dangerous for you and your daughter for you to date right now. You really need to grow up.
Like one of the replies stated concentrate on you and your little girl. Think about things you might like to do as a hobby, do you enjoy writing there are many writing groups around it. Do you enjoy animals you could volunteer at a shelter. Do you enjoy hiking or out doors activities. Find something you are passionate about or enjoy doing and you will find many like minded people. You might also find mr right. Be open to love but not needy and things will fall into place. Good luck.