I have been put in a very difficult situation where my sons father has put me through the wringer to get the contact he has now (due to previous substance abuse, irresponsibility where money and work is concerned and general unreliablitly with any form of routine) but he finally stepped up and started showing some promise, then suddenly he stopped having all of his contact and cutting it short, and using flimsy excuses. Anyway we went to mediation and while it was mostly to put our current arrangements into paper form for my state of mind, we ended up spending almost 3 hours together all up that day and he did not insult me, my current partner, or my family (as he has been known to do regularly) he did however ask to take my son interstate in the future to see family. My first thought was "HELL NO!" However I feel bad about my son not seeing that side of the family much, I'm happy to take him down when I can afford it, but he has been disrupting mine and my sons life so much lately that I am uncomfortable saying yes. Sorry for the book length explanation, but the more info the better chance of helpful responses. Is there a way (other than court order) that would ease my discomfort?
Difficult situation regarding interstate travel with a child and separated parents.
Difficult situation regarding interstate travel with a child and separated parents.
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Parenthood Guilt, Kids
2 Replies
I'd be unlikely to agree off the bat either! It sounds bad but it sounds like your son hasn't really spent that much time with his dad to make a trip interstate with him. I wouldn't say no, but put a date on it to be discussed. For example we will reasses in 6 months time. I would make it clear that the family is welcome to visit, if they would like to see him sooner. If dad does the right things consistently up to the date to discuss I think a holiday would be great. Given past history I think it's ok to make sure the dad proves himself.
Do not say yes because he behaved himself for one day for a few hours! Say you're open to the idea depending how things go. Make him show long term change that hes actually responsible enough, and you're satisfied you're not disrupting your sons life, short term proves nothing. Sounds like you're thinking clearly and fairly, you do not have to feel bad or bend out if guilt.