A few years ago I loaned my cousin some money to pay a phone bill, it was a decent amount ($850). She's never paid any of it back and I have no idea how to go about asking her for it.
How do you suggest I ask for it back without sounding nasty.
I should add that she was going through stuff with her then husband and didn't want him finding out that the bill was so overdue. They have since separated and she's back on her feet.
12 Replies
A few years ago? I doubt your getting it back without it turning nasty.
She was going through a rough time with her husband at the time, she's since left and is back on her feet. That's why it's been so long.
Hopefully you get it all back. You have been such a lovely cousin to her and very patient.
I would send her a message reminding her about it and you're happy to accept $50 a week until it's all paid up. Any normal person would feel guilty about leaving it so long so I doubt she is going to find that nasty.
Sometimes things like this are less awkward over text and with some careful wording you can nicely but clearly make it understood that you're wanting it back.
Maybe something like:
"Hey Jo, how you been Xx
It's probably slipped your mind given everything you've been through but do you remember ages ago when I lent you that $850 to pay your phone bill?
Anyway, can we catch up for coffee sometime this week so we can talk about making some arrangements to start paying it back now that you've got things back on track?
Thanks hun, let me know a time and place that suits and I'll see you there xx"
Pointed but non hostile.
Personally I'd just let it go. 850 isn't more important than family.
She wasn't lending it for a life saving situation it was a freaking phone bill, she should be able to pay it back without it having any affect on their relationship.
But if asking for it back makes things bad, it's not worth it. I get that the money would help, but sometimes it's not worth it.
I'm a single mum, so the money would help me.
Seeing as it’s been a few years.... maybe she’s completely just forgotten all about it!! If you just remind her she might be so embarrassed and sorry she forgot 🤷♀️
OMG so out of the blue today she sent me a message about it, she's paying it back over a few weeks.
I'm in complete shock.
That’s great!
Having had a similar situation with some very good friends years ago, it can be a very touchy situation and it did affect our friendship for a period because I was resentful that they owed us money, and they were off buying new couches and stuff. I am glad I said something to them and they did pay the money back (it actually caused some tension in their relationship because husband was embarrassed) but now they know not to not pay us and my husband doesn’t do love jobs anymore without getting cash for the materials.