Is this normal?

Anon Imperfect Mum

Is this normal?

My husband just got back from a day trip at a course on the other side of the state. To get there, he flew 2 hours this morning and again on a 2 hour return flight home once the course had finished. Long story short, he didn’t have a shower before going to bed!? He didn’t even change his shirt. I am totally grossed out. When I called him on it, he got all defensive saying “I’ll shower when I feel dirty!” and that he’s never heard of people showering after a day like he’s had. He started accusing me of being a germaphobe, which I’m not. Like, wtaf? Isn’t it normal to shower after a long day and 2 flights? Is anyone else’s husband like this?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Self Care

32 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

Gross 😬

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Weird... can't he just relax and choose for himself?

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I think you’re over reacting.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Is this a Troll Post? Dude has probably had a long day.... give him a break. At least try and make it worth his while offer to wash his back or something.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Yeah I’m feeling it for your husband. I’d be pissed if my other half even mentioned this. I would not even give a crap if my hubby did or did not shower after spending all that time flying to provide for our family. It just seems ungrateful and selfish. There are days where I have worked like 12 hours and have not flown anywhere. I’ve worked those days to provide for the family not to be given crap about being disgusting etc. I personally think you need to give him a break.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I bet he’s wishing he’d stayed the night. Lay off he’s had a long day.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I mean, I probably would have had a shower but if I'd had a long ass day and my partner got on my case about showering when all I wanted to do was rest, I'd be shitty too!!

Give the man a break...

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Wow you sound pedantic. He’s probably freaking exhausted and just couldn’t be bothered.. I think it’s extremely petty to even call him out on it!

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

God i feel sorry for him dealing with you . My husband showers three times a week and doesnt smell . Although it would be good if it were more , i don't really care . Cut the bloke some slack , and he's right , he will shower when he feels dirty . I'm sitting here shocked that you are even so bothered by it . So immature .

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Way over the top on your part.

He was sitting on a plane. That’s sitting down doing nothing! It’s mentally exhausting, not physically exhausting.

He didn’t go to the gym, he didn’t go down the mines. He literally sat on his arse for 4 of the hours. Hardly the kind of day you get sweaty and gross in.

Even then, he’s a grown arse adult who knows his own body and how often he needs to shower.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Wow I’m alarmed at these responses. Hygiene people 🥴

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Nobody is going to get sick cause he skipped one shower.
Gosh when we go proper camping/bushwalking a shower isn’t possible.
Skipping one shower when you’ve literally been sitting down is hardly going to cause any issues. We’ve become very uptight and overly worried about showers the last 20years.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I’m alarmed that you think not having a shower when he probably already had one that morning is bad hygiene. You’re not supposed to shower everyday, let alone more than once a day. If you do I hate imagine how awful your poor skin is.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Its a one off and you're whinging? Leave him alone. He would have been exhausted. Even small flights take it out of you and throw on top a brain drainer of a one day course. One day courses are usually brutal because they try and cram so much in. Get over yourself. Maybe he should stay the night next time so hes not so tired when he gets home and he gets a break from your nagging.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Geez. I'd put ear plugs in if my spouse went on about this. Sooooo over the top.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Just as comparison, my husband plays footy and sometimes he gets home at 11pm from training and he doesn’t shower (sweaty and occasionally muddy). It wakes me up if he does and it’s just too late at night to have one in our household. He just changes the sheets the following day :)

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Omg I would not let my husband in my bed....I wouldn't be able to sleep next to him.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I have a shower before work in the mornings anyways so it doesn’t really inconvenience me :) he just sneaks into bed and I’m none the wiser and it works well. If he wasn’t changing the sheets afterwards it would certainly irk me but he does so it’s not too bad haha

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I think while I might have preferred that he showered, I’d leave it up to him. He’s probably tired. Change the sheets the next day and move on.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Yeah kinda gross and I bet he stinks.

But I wouldn’t judge my partner if he did this. He probably can’t be fucked and that’s okay. He can shower in the morning

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Of he stinks after a fairly sedentary day, he needs a new deodorant.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I shower in the morning because I can't brush my curly hair unless it's wet. Every day. Hubby showers at night because he's a trade. But he's only pedantic about it if he's been crawling around in 1 particular type of insulation that I'm allergic too. Otherwise, if he wants to shower the following day I wouldn't care. Neither of us smell and sheets can be changed.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Give the man a break, he needs time to relax

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

All I can say is, if this is what makes you write into a forum, you’re living a very charmed life.
Congrats.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I personally find it gross if people don’t shower daily, I mean it’s only 5-10 mins out of your day, not that hard. My fiancé drove 2 hours to work interstate yesterday and 2 hours home, he still had a shower before bed, does it once a fortnight. Personal hygiene isn’t a choice, it’s a necessity

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Driving is a bit different to flying. I don't think OP's husbands hygiene was compromised. I think he might have survived.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

Jfc. Not showering every single day isn’t poor hygiene you numpty. It’s actually bad to shower so frequently, strips your skin of the oils it needs to be healthy.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

You're kidding me. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
There are some days that I can't be half arsed having a shower after a mentally exhausting day.
Did I die?
No.
Does my partner comment?
No.

Get over yourself love, there are more important things in this world than whinging about ONE missed shower for fucks sake.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

So what... if he didn’t want one maybe he was just exhausted.!

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

I feel sorry for your husband.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

You sound like a nag and he is a little kid. So what.!!! I think you need to leave him alone.

like
Anon Imperfect Mum

It’s bloody gross. Especially if if used public loos, went into many areas with various people. I showered d after getting home at 2am lmao.

like