Who else is a single parent and finds it devastating when their kids go to our ex's?? Its been almost 9 years and I still spend my kid free weekends in absolute depression. When the kids are here I can handle anything and I cant let them know how hurt I am when they are gone... they dont deserve that. But I miss them all sooooo much still.
9 Replies
You need to find something for yourself. Like a hobby or sport you cant do with the kids. But i understand. The house always seems far too quiet.
Do something! This is understandable the first year or so but 9 years!? Gosh woman, use it the best way you can. Go for lunch, movies, art gallery, museum, pub, zoo, theatre, play a sport, go fishing. Keep yourself busy and let you grow as your own person instead of relying on your kids to keep you happy! They will be all moved out one day and you won't have kids at home at all, you need to learn to be happy on your own or you're setting yourself up for a miserable life.
I get it- I am on one of those weekends now.
I use the weekend to do my cooking for the week so it’s more time I have with the kids
I clean the house and get everything in order, read the book I didn’t get time to, do some work so I can have earlier finishes during week, call and catch up with friends..... stuff that makes it easier for when I do have kids and fills my bucket so I don’t get too sad
If I don’t have a plan I end up blubbering and just don’t have any energy
It’s been two years for me
I wish my ex was around to have the kids. We have kids with special needs and I need a break so badly right now. But is he around to help out?? Nope!! I used to love my break every other weekend but now I barely get a decent break I hate that I don’t get them. My children aren’t going to grow up and fly the coop/cut the apron strings. There’s so much you can be doing with your you time!! Time to learn to embrace it xx
I would kill for a night off, a sleep in, and free time to book in yoga or classes or a date. Line up some things to do.
I’m with you!! My new partner is fabulous but what I’d do if my ex actually had our kids for a whole weekend or even for a whole holiday period. Sleeping in and a kid free holiday would be fabulous.
What I'm about to say I mean in the kindest, most helpful way possible so please don't be offended.
I think you need to get some professional help to work through this. It's been 9 years Hun!
It's normal and okay to miss your kids but you are so consumed by your kid's absence that you fall into this pit of depression when they're not around. That's not healthy and it's stealing your happiness.
You need to learn some new coping strategies too, your children are currently your emotional crutch, that's why you're falling to pieces when they're with their dad.
You're in an enviable position in a sense, i know you can't see that at the moment but in time and with help you will see the positives in your situation. In time you will be able to enjoy this time apart and you'll start to get your identity outside of being a mother back!
I would be the same but after this Long and knowing it’s something that can’t change. You need to find some fun things to do on those weekends. Go to dinner and movie with a friend.Join in activities somewhere, you need something for you.
Nope, I love it. I do work most weekends but evenings alone are bliss!
My ex is about to move away and I’m devastated to lose this time. Not sure how I’ll keeo my sanity