Ok so bottom line, my 18 year old Sil is pregnant. She wanted to be and she was only with her partner 1 month before it happened.
Now all of that is fine, each to own.
My problem is she isn't been smart about her pregnancy still heavy lifting, wont tell work even though her work isn't really safe during pregnancy is: heavy lifting ECT.
She won't go to Dr to get all health checks and baby checks done. She has no interest in learning about how to have a safe and healthy pregnancy. She wanted to be pregnant but has no interest in learning anything about anything.
I guess my main concern is, I went through IVF to have my babies and I have people close to me who have lost babies. I'm scared for her and want to help and prepare her for what's in store but she just doesn't care. I'm the only family she has not forcing an abortion on her, and as a result she talks to me alot but refuses flat to change anything as why should she.
any ideas how to encourage her? I've run out.
Thank you
5 Replies
Maybe you could say to her that you care about her and now you also care about her unborn child and as such you are worried about the baby with no medical checks etc. Try telling her that perhaps family would not be pushing so much for an abortion and might take her seriously if she starts acting like a mother which means she needs to look after her baby whether she feels like it or not. If she wants to be a mum she needs to start now. It's hard at 18 because you are no longer a young teen and legally an adult. If she wants people to treat her as an adult then she needs to act like one and be responsible. She's lucky to have someone like you in her corner. Keep up the good work!
have you tried offering to take her to the doctor? maybe she is scared the doctor will judge too... buy her vitamins for her to take maybe she can't afford them
Maybe she's scared? How does she behave when she talks about being pregnant and having the baby? Is her partner still around? Going to the doctor could make it all very real (even though she wanted to get pregnant) and that may be a reason why she's avoiding going. You could ring your local hospital and see if they have a program for young mums, then she'll also get to talk to other girls around her age that are pregnant too. You could also put together a small basket for her with some books or leaflets, some useful phone numbers and maybe some pre natal vitamins and something just for her (like a really nice body moisturiser). It would be a way to give her some of the information she needs without putting her on the spot.
Maybe buy her a book.. like "up the duff" or "what to expect when expecting". Those books helped me so much. I keep it by my bed and every time I think of something I read a page or two. She might not appreciate it bit I guarantee she will have a flick through when shes ready x
Thank you all ladies.
unfortunately she has chosen to have an abortion.
I'm offering all the support I can.