My husband has just been given a job opportunity that comes with a house rent free for up to 2 years and a pay rise. This is great news for us as this gives us an opportunity to pay off our debt quicker. The only issue is, is that he has to take on extra grounds-keeping responsibilities around the place which means that he'll be working long, physically exhausting days Monday-Friday.
I work Monday-Thursday with Friday off.. When he told me about this, I said, "Since I'll be living there too, I want to help out with these grounds keeping responsibilities on Friday" to which he replied, "No, you can do your part by doing ALL the housework so that I don't ever have to contribute to the housework ever again!"
Currently, it's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything around the house. I ask him nicely to do the dishes...it takes him 3 weeks to do them (and we have a dishwasher!). I ask him to do the washing, he'll do 1 load and most of the time forgets to hang it out.
When he gets home from work he basically sits on his phone watching God-knows-what on YouTube til he falls asleep. Never helps towards dinner or work lunches the next day.. Never has the energy to do something fun or spontaneous with me unless I organize it, but if his mates call and invite him to go hunting or fishing - all of a sudden he has all the energy in the world!
His other argument was that he makes double what I make, and he pays all the bills (my income currently pays off HIS debts) so he said that's another reason why I should do all the housework...because he's providing a roof over my head and is paying all the bills and my half of the contribution is to do all the housework. The way I see it is that we're supposed to be a team at home... We both help each other out to keep the place tidy and manageable.
Any ideas on how I get him to be a team player, and not feel like his little slave?
10 Replies
Tell him since he earns so much he can pay for a cleaner to cover his half of the housework.
Haha I love this 🙌 this is a great idea..
Yes! I actually told him that - since he earns so much he can afford to pay me to clean the house on Friday's. He didn't like that idea very much haha.
Ask him how he'd manage if he were single?
He'd have to work full time, cook for himself, do all the housework, do all his washing, run all the errands like paying bills, grocery shopping etc. He'd have to take care of himself in every capacity.
What is his response to that question?
It never ceases to amaze me that some men still seem to think that all the housekeeping and child rearing is soley a wife's job. It's not like 1950 anymore, most families need 2 incomes to survive so that means everyone needs to contribute around home to make it work.
Remind him that with a higher pay rate his child support would also be higher and he would have to do his own cleaning. 🤷‍♀️
But seriously if he treats you like that I don’t think there is much chance of getting him to change, he seems like an arsehat
Sounds like you married an arsehole!! Tell him if that’s his attitude you shouldn’t have to work At all! 1950s style!
Say yes and agree and also take on the budget cause he won’t have time ;) and afford a cleaner in the process
Be very wary.. next he’ll be dropping that line when you say you don’t want to have sex. “Well I put the roof over your head so you bettter put out!” Screw that.. you deserve better
What a pig.. you work too. Doesn’t matter how much income you earn. You still bloody work. He sounds selfish to me! I can’t stand men that like. Think they don’t have to contribute coz they earn more. Good luck, I’m glad it’s you and not me. I wouldn’t put up with it.
Nope you are he slave coz you are allowing it. They only treat you the way you let them. Good luck I wouldn’t be with some one like that. He sounds selfish. I take it you don’t have kids to him. It is worse once you have kids.!! He will be telling you, you do nothing all day 🙄