Troubled daughter

Anon Imperfect Mum

Troubled daughter

Please help me. I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face as I write this. I have a 8 year old daughter (my only one I was a late starter) Her dad and I separated when she was 4years old and I have a new partner of 3years who has two sons about the same age as my girl. We live apart but she loves him and the boys. The problem is that she is behaving so badly to me and the boys at times it breaks my heart. She speaks terribly to them and can sometimes push or shove or kick them in anger. She makes any trip away a nightmare with her constant whining and complaining about everything. She has been seeing a counsellor for at least a year and we recently changed to a new one. I have tried reward charts, prize boxes and for bad behavior taking things away (she doesn't care) I am at my wits end and feel like I am drowning in despair. I love her but am struggling to like her some days and I know that makes me sound like a horrible Mum but I feel like I am failing her so badly. She spends time with her dad every couple of weeks and he tells me she is like it there too sometimes. Sometimes she can be lovely but I can see my darling daughter slipping away. Can anybody please help

Posted in:  Behaviour

8 Replies

Anon Imperfect Mum

What’s she like at preschool?

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Anon Imperfect Mum

School tells me she is pretty well behaved. Can get a bit "grumpy when things don't go her way but overall pretty good

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Anon Imperfect Mum

What do counsellors say the problem is? There must be something going on for her, she's not doing it for fun :(

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Have you seen a paediatrician? A counsellor is only good if you know she needs a counsellor. Right now she needs to see a Paediatrician and a Psychiatrist to see if there’s another reason for her behaviour that you cannot see. You haven’t mentioned if anything else has happened to her I’d sexual abuse, adhd, ASD, add, bullying, emotional manipulation on dads behalf etc you also haven’t mentioned how long this has been going on. That would assist the Paediatrician and Psych.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I agree, she needs more than a counsellor, she needs a child psychologist.
None of us can surmise what is going on with her, she needs a professional.
Start with a paediatrician and work from there.
A counsellor isn’t really qualified to get to the bottom of all this.
Its good you haven’t moved the boyfriend in, you need to figure this out first.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Get her into a good Child psychologist.

I felt like when my son had behaviour issues at the same age, the counsellor just validated the way he was behaving rather than getting to the core of it and redirecting the way he was acting.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

I agree. Child psychologist are great & have ways to get things out in the open. The did wonders for my son.

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Anon Imperfect Mum

Get her into a child psychologist they can get to the bottom of it with her and help her. They do wonders. Ask your dr for a referral and a care plan, you will get 10 visits.

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