My 13 year old daughter has been having her period nearly 3 years now. She refuses to wear any sort of sanitary products. Instead just ruins all of her underwear and pants. Leaks onto my lounge and all over her bed. I am at a loss of how to make her realise that this is a fact of life for all women and see this is not normal behaviour, nor is it acceptable. She stinks! The smell when she has her period is fowl. My mum and sister, mil, my aunt and close family friend have tried talking to her about the issue when my talk fell on deaf ears. My hubby has also tried to talk to her. She refuses to talk or even acknowledge that she is being spoken to.
I'm not sure what to do anymore. I am at my wit's end. How can I get her to practice personal hygiene and look after herself?
She has access to multiple brands of pads with/without wings, tampons, diva cup and period panties and there is a bin with a lid in the bathroom and toilet room.
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11 Replies
I suggest get her in to see a child and adolescent psychologist. Try headspace, they are great.
You have done everything to provide her with the things she needs, but this refusal to acknowledge her period sounds psychological.
But in the meantime maybe get some books on puberty aimed at her age that she can read on her own.
Agree with it being psychological and she needs help but until she acknowledges it could you put her on the pill to stop periods all together? Or only supply her with period undies so she doesn't have a choice.
Definitely first point of call would be a GP and psychologist.
When period time comes remove all underwear and only leave her the period undies.
Maybe even on the pill until she can practise better hygiene?
If she ruins her clothes don’t buy new ones, she has to wear the dirty bloodied clothes and suck it up.
She needs psychological help. You need to make an appointment with your child’s doctor and get referrals.
Agree with you and the others. Meanwhile I would buy her a shedload of cheap undies and a roll of bin bags to dispose of dirty undies. Put the pads right there too and she may use them and Chuck the whole knickers and pad combo... ?? I do realise that's not a long term solution, just to help meanwhile.
Maybe you could try buying her some period underwear? She might be intimidated by using pads and tampons so this could be a temporary solution. I do believe she may need to see a mental health professional as poor hygiene can be an indicator of psychological conditions (e.g. clinical depression). Either way, don't make it a punitive experience for her as that will make it worse. Just try and be patient but reaffirm the importance of proper hygiene.
I’d be telling her to wake up to herself maybe start taking the hard road. Take everything off her. Make her clean her own mess up and wash all her stuff. I know it’s not Satan’s no one wants there period but come on.
Have you tried pre padding all her underwear so when she puts them on it’s on already? I’d be curious if she takes them off.
Have you tried pre padding all her underwear so when she puts them on it’s on already? I’d be curious if she takes them off.
Please talk about it openly to normalize it. I was reading some advice to not talk about it as it’s embaressing her. No It’s not something to be embarrassed about. We talk openly in our house. It’s good to not be ashamed and let the males in the house know too.
Get proper period undies, and hide all her normal ones each month. Sounds like she needs mental health support, it’s not normal behaviour to just ignore it. There is definitely more to it. Chin up Mum you have done everything you can, you might need to be a little tough and very soft with support.