Has anyone had experience with dad moving an hour away and wanting to become primary carer for kids? He will be moving kids from current school and home of 2 years. Currently in mediation however he is pushing for courts
Back story - he has moved in with his mum who will look after children when he is at work.
No history of drug use, abuse etc
14 Replies
No that's not fair on the kids. Who will look after kids doesn't really matter. Some people seem to think being with family trumps daycare etc, that's just life and doesn't make one parent more valuable than the other. It's the disruption that wouldn't be good here, is there any reason for it?
He would have to have a very good reason to remove kids from their primary caregiver, I assume is their mother? What do the kids think? You don’t just move the kids on a whim, whether from father or mother, there must be exceptional grounds to completely uproot them. Is what he is doing in the best interests of the kids because all you mention is that his mum can mind them, is that it? Need more substantial info to comment, if there isn’t any and kids are happy, I think he should reconsider.
Let him spend his money on court. They will not take these children off you unless they can prove some pretty serious neglect on your behalf.
He’d have to have a good reason to have them removed from their primary care giver. Ie if there’s no drugs involved, if mental health is under control and managed if it’s not always 100% there would have to be a really big reason apart from “I don’t want them to go to day care” to take them off of someone. If he’s moving then he’s disrupting their lifestyle and all that they know. Just like if the primary care giver wanted to leave and take the kids away she’s have to ask permission. Sounds like this dude is just trying to upset the primary care giver because she won’t give him what he wants. The courts will see through this if it is the case.
Good luck to him, ppppffffftttt the courts will laugh at him
No, unless there was some serious stuff going on in the kids current situation then he is wasting his time. He is the one moving away they won't move the kids to suit him. If he wanted to go for 50/50 he shouldn't be moving.
Thanks everyone.
Long story short, he wants our youngest to start at a private school closer to him and his family on the Gold Coast. However, where we currently live we have for the last 2 years. Our current suburb is also 15 mins from his workplace but I think he wants to move them to be horrible to me. So not only is he wanting to move the kids away from me and all they know, but also doesn’t make sense as to why he wants to drive so far to work etc. which obviously isn’t my problem.
I’m a full time working mum, I have rules and routine in my house. My kids go to bed at 7pm, as we are out of the house anywhere from 7-8am. He believes I’m not spending quality time with them which is bollocks. I do what I can with them and we always make dinner together, read bedtime stories etc. the more I look into it the worse I feel as a mum.
Working hard to provide for your kids, giving them a structured life that makes them secure, setting an example that welfare isn’t an option even if you are a single mum, yeah, you sound like a beast, no wonder you are doubting yourself (sarcasm).
Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re amazing, from one single mum to another.
To be passed as a good parent, you need to be ok 30 % of the time. Small doses of really quality time, surrounded by routine and other trusted carers is just fine!
Please don't doubt yourself! You are doing an amazing job.
What makes him think he will be able to provide better for them if he has to travel further for work meaning he will be out of the house earlier and possibly see them less than you do anyway?
Keep doing what you are doing and loving your babies just as you are. You're not doing anything wrong by them.
Yes I did have something similar It got thrown out of court after three days. He and had sanctions put in place so he couldn’t waste the courts time again or run up huge bills. And he was ordered to pay everyone’s bill that included my sons advocate that was court appointed. Momma if your house is in order and your kids are thriving rest easy, and keep doing what your doing. You got this
Sounds like he is putting you down and manipulating you. Do not let him.! Keep fighting him, you aren’t doing an amazing job. The courts won’t allow this. The kids will stay with their mother and at their current school. Please don’t sign anything you do not understand. Don’t listen to his words. Even if they were to live with him, he still has to work and it’s no different to them being home with you working. Don’t feel bad, you are doing the best that you can to provide for your kids. What ever you do, do not give into him. Once he has them there is no turning back and no matter he he tells them is his ideal situation and what he wants. It’s not what he will get. No matter what he thinks.!
That was meant to say you are doing an amazing job.. sorry for auto correct.! Keep fighting.. they won’t allow him to have them like this, it’s not fair on the kids.
So the kids will be stuck with grandma,?!? Great for him 😏