My 7 year old waks up every night! She then proceeds to wake me up to tell me that she’s awake! She never sleeps in our bed but depending on the night it can turn into a major ordeal. She can keep getting up if she can’t get back to sleep. She can have tantrums about it.
I’ve tried everything! We have strategies we can use if we wake up and can’t sleep. She knows she needs to stay still, eyes closed and quiet, she has sleep spray, calm oil, lullaby’s to use but she never does, we try visualisation about what she wants to dream about. We’ve talked about the effects of waking me every night and how mummy needs sleep to. I’ve tried sticker rewards, consequences. I’ve given her worming tablets. I talk to her about it and she says she remembers doing it but can’t remember why. She promises every night that she won’t do it but still does. If she happens to sleep through I give her lots of praise.
I’m out of ideas! Anyone? I also have a baby who is teething so I’m up with her too. The baby isn’t waking her up, so that’s not the issue.
14 Replies
Is she awake properly? Or is it like sleep walking?
I’d honestly walk her back to bed without talking, lay her down and walk out. Break the habit, and because your talking to her it’s most likely stimulating the brain.
Failing that, do you have a grow clock? Buy one and see if it helps?
And then take her to a pead, she may need to do a sleep study.
Make hugs, not sleeping sucks!
This probably won't be a popular opinion but stop pandering to her!
I almost guarantee it's for attention and now it's become a habit.
If she comes into your room to wake you, dont get out of bed, tell her to get herself a drink and go to the toilet and back to bed.
You'll need to have will power and not give in to her tantrums (which theŕe will definitely be for the first few nights).
Before bed, set up a few things and a small night lamp beside her bed you're happy for her to use if she wakes and can't get back to sleep (A book, a note pad and a pencil - any quiet, non tech activity). Explain to her she can use these items quietly in bed if she wakes up and she's only allowed to wake you if she's sick or something is wrong.
She's old enough to understand consideration for other members of the family who are still sleeping.
I would also aim for at least half n hour one on one time with her late afternoon/evenings for some more positive attention to try and curve her need to look for it at midnight.
You're giving her what she wants, stop getting up to her or acknowledging her when she does it. Or better still, put a lock on your bedroom door. My parents did this when my sister (8 at the time) was doing similar and after a few nights of screaming and banging on their door, she stopped.
Is she jealous of the younger sibling?
Owe for Christ sake. she is a child, you are the adult. If she gets up tell her to get a drink, go to the toilet and get her butt back in bed. If she gets up again, hold her hand match her back to bed and place her there with out a word. No wonder she is continually doing it, she is playing you and you are doing exactly what she wants.
You need to just stop and she will stop. When she wakes you up, don't speak just put her back into her bed. One tuck in and go back to your bed.
No speaking. Make sure she has a water bottle and toilet light on before bedtime so you don't need to do anything at all. Set the expectation, I'm saying goodnight now, big kiss and cuddle and chat /story etc but when I say goodnight and leave, that's it until morning.
We have a sam the lamb clock. My kids are 2 and 3 and they understand that they're not allowed to get out of bed until Sam wakes up. Could be worth trying
Thanks for your suggestions. I definitely do not pander to her. She gets in quite a bit of trouble for this habit. I’ve tried not getting up. I’ve tried being silent. She is wide awake. I’ve tried appealing to her emotions, I tell her the consequences. I’ve yelled and got frustrated. I’ve been stern. I’ve been kind. I’ve tried consistent. I’ve tried different tactics. I will try a few of your suggestions and I thank you for your advise. And for the record I am very well aware I am the adult, but thanks for pointing that out.
Sounds like you have tried everything ❤️ I like the lock on your door idea, that’s about all you can do now.
Maybe a bed or mattress near yours that she can lie on, but again she must not wake you and she must be quiet and go to sleep. Maybe with the new baby she just wants to be close?
Its not normal.. If nothing is working and you believe you have tried everything take her to the doctor
Humans, and little ones are complex beings, hate the term normal. What is normal anyway? As adults we all have different sleeping habits, why wouldn’t kids?
Biologically we're designed to wake up in the middle of the night. The introduction of artificial light changed that as we were staying up later...
Maybe giving her a slightly later bedtime might help
I'd try a gp or paed, my 8yr old was doing the same thing, we stop all screen time 2hrs before bed, don't have certain type's of light Bulbs in the house, and she takes melatonin before bed, all this helped loads! She still sleep walks most nights, but is really easy to guide her back to bed and she doesn't kick up a fuss at all
My son did this for a bit, turned out to be his 6 year molars !