Sorry mummies for this one:
I'm a single mum and have been for a very long time. I've had a couple of short term refashion ships though and have been shocked at the expectation that I have no hair on my map of Tasmania! I keep it trimmed and neat and don't have that much hair anyway, which is beside the point. I'm considered faulty for not being nude! 15 years ago this was something porn stars did. I'm not a prepubescent girl and feel a bit offended I'm supposed to look like one. Im interested in what other mums do and how they feel about this? Am I the only one who doesn't go bare? I wouldn't mind for a special occasion maybe but the expectation really offends me.
Going bare down there
Going bare down there
Posted in:
Self Care
16 Replies
I go bare down there when I can be bothered! If he doesn't like me for me otherwise, then he can go without! Most women these days go bare, even men do! It really is for me more comfortable, especially during that time of the month so nothing gets caught up & messy down there. But whatever your decision is, it should be yours alone, because afterall it is your lady part & nobody else's!
I think what I'm finding offensive is the expectation. I figure if you want to do it and have time great! I know some men go bare but I would never expect them to. Talk about ruining the spontaneity 'sorry honey nothings going to happen tonight cause I ran out of time to shave' it's more something I'd make an effort to do for a special occasion but not as a norm. Don't we all have more important things to be doing?
I posted the first comment. I agree with you completely! I try to do it to spice it up a bit if it's a special night or if it's our first time getting back into it since my period finishes each month, but otherwise it's just annoying to bend my neck down far enough to see properly, & talk about shaving rash! The thought just puts me off. My partner has never maintained his hair down there & I prefer it that way. He doesn't expect me to eithe but I know he prefers it, but still I can't be bothered because I know he still finds me sexy either way.
I think they have that expectation because thats whats normal now. Its the trend atm and thats all they see in porn and with other women. I think it is rude of them but at the same time when I dont shave I look in the mirror and thinks its gross too lol now a days its just like having hairy armpits! I always make sure I am nice and smooth before an encounter with a man, but if a guy flat out was turned off by me if I wasn't that would be a bit upsetting. Do what you feel comfortable with at the end of the day! And remember itll probably come back into style soon!
i think its expected cos its more the norm now. you didn't say a man actually said something? was someone saying something or mention it? i personally do it for myself AND my partner. i feel more comfortable and sexy and sometimes encourage him just to trim once a year cos it makes him look bigger lol.
just personal preference , I think if it was assumed and you were rejected because you didn't he was a jerk but if its just a casual question, i just find a lot of my girlfriend are like me, its not about porn its our own choice, and if my partner did happen to respectfully ask my to shave if i wasn't I would indulge him every now and then at my whim in the same way I try to satisfy his other preferences.
i personally don't think its that big a deal or that offensive that its "expected" its expected cos its more often than not now days. and a surprise if its not.
like seeing guy is uncircumcised "oh your uncircumcised, different from what i normally see. lol probably a bad example but you get what i mean?
lol
Ive been firmly told a couple of times by men that, that was the reason! There was no doubt about it. I was surprised by one and thought that maybe he was just a pig but a few years ago when I was out there it was a non issue so Ive been very taken a back. Its not asked its definitely TOLD and words like disgusting have been used! One of the guys had a beard and I didn't tell him to shave it! It was extremely hurtful. I would never judge a man for being circumcised or not. Im actually very adventurous in the bedroom and go out of my way to please but if anyone told me I HAD to perform a sexual act they would get the same reaction.
Oh see that's a bit different just write them off as you would if it were something else when dating a new guy that's a turn off to the point of stop seeing them , I was referring to it being said as a preference in a respectful way
I would never judge a circumcision either was just making the point of seeing something a bit less common that could have cause a reaction but as you have clarified not te case :)
Do whatever makes you feel sexy I say :) for me it's hairless over my whole body :) my mum cops grief from me any time she gets changed though lol
I don't and have never had a Brazilian in my life and I'm 30!!! I keep it very tidy with a clipper so not much hair at all and my hubby personally told me he hates Brazilians as they look like a girl part not a woman part (no offence) everyone has there own choices just thought I'd share mine as everyone else has written they do it, you do whatever you want with your body and don't change just for society or some rude pig.
Thank you, in all honesty I felt like a freak after the experiences so it's nice to know there are others out there!
Hi I stay bare and that's just personal choice for me. I don't like the hair because it feels yuk and dirty to me at that time of the month and just in general. After my son I just let it grow and it was itchy.
I don't shave as it grows back itchy and I get ingrown hairs. So I wax it hurts but lasts a long while.
I think it's offensive to be told those those things to you, it's not like your full on bush! You are keeping it trimmed and that's fine.
I understand the 'little girl' look puts men off also but I don't look at it that way I just think it's nicer and cleaner :-)
I personally couldn't be bothered trimming shaping haha. It's either all or nothing and I prefer nothing.
I think it's the norm these days but just stay true to you and do what you feel is right.
I also agree with a previous comment that waxing and bare skin is a lot more popular these days especially with men doing there chests and backs etc. I think it's just more for a smoother look and cleaner image :-)
I think it's more an indication of how times are changing. People have far too many expectations these days and most of them are unrealistic. I think do what makes you feel good about yourself and you'll find someone who doesn't mind what you do. If you get a guy who tells you he doesn't like it, tell him to bugger off and find someone else lol. Personally I shave the lot and have done for several years because I used to get so itchy. Don't know why, but now I can't stand even a week's growth.
I used to go bare down there until I fell pregnant as I could no longer wax it myself, I still haven't gone bare again yet as I fell pregnant with bub #2 before I could, I like to go bare for myself no one else, my partner doesn't care whether I'm bare there or not as it's my choice
I used to be completely 'nude' down there for years. I started in the last couple of years to grow a 'landing strip' of sorts and my hubby thinks this is far sexier and I admit, it's much, much better to not have to upkeep the nude look. Apparently he was talking about it with his mates and they're over the porn star, 'little girl' look. These men you're dating better get over it, 'cause hair is making a come back... haha. On a health related note, I was constantly getting thrush type symptoms when I was hair-free (despite being very clean!), since having some hair again, I haven't had it once! We're supposed to have hair! Keep it nice and tidy and trim it right back.
Thanks for that, I was doing some reading over the weekend and urologists and gynos agree that having hair is healthier! It even lowers the risk of STDs. I suppose I would consider going bare if I had a decent amount, but if I stand even a meter away from a mirror you can't even see it! Lol I've never had pinching or pulling that others talk about. I think I've decided in not quite ready to date yet my self esteem was far too bruised by this experience so need to work on myself a bit longer :)
I do wax for myself but I don't think my husband notices too much. at the moment it is all over the place, waxed half of it then my 10 moth old woke up so had to stop. so Its patchy and lopsided LOL.
I have to laugh a little at all the comments on Facebook say ew its like a little girl, and really strong opinions on it but i just wonder if they shave their arms and legs??? cos little girls have no hair anywhere! some women wax their mo's some don't, some wax chin hair, others don't. some don't shave legs , most do.
i have girlfriends who beg their partner to shave their hipsters beards.
me personally I get rid of ALL my hair. I feel so much nicer after a "pretty" shower. but Im blond with thin hair so i don't get ingrown hairs . I don't shave or wax my arms but certainly would if i wasn't blonde!
honestly its a preference thing and same for men! they aren't pigs or horrible people for having a pretence in the bedroom! or porn perverts for hang a preference! for me I LOVE a hairy chest,but majority of my girlfriends are repulsed by hairy chests. some guys wax their chest others don't . my good friend asks her gabby to wax once a year and thats their compromise....
its all part of finding a person who fits you perfectly and these little things all make up for it , wether you don't care and he doesn't care and thats great or you don't wanna do it and the guy really prefers it...then that guy won't work for you!
I don't really see the offence, if a guy told me he prefers me hairy id laugh and say you might get that if we've been camping for 3 weeks but thats all hunny!