The in laws have a Xmas celebration 2 days after Xmas with the family who I have not seen for 5 years. My partner and daughter want me to go this year but I don’t get along with one of the SIL and it’s been so long since I seen them. I want to do it for my daughter and partner but just don’t know how I’ll feel
7 Replies
Sounds like it's been long enough that you can just be friendly and make it work for everybody else for the day. You don't have to get on just don't fight.
Nobody gets on with everyone. That’s ok. Just go and be polite for a few hours.
I’m sure you don’t get on with everyone at work, your child’s school etc. you just manage it.
I come from a very large family. There is no way I could get on with them all. You go, you make your partner and child happy for a few hours.
Just go and play friendly with sil. If she starts anything walk away and ignore her.
Don’t go then . You don’t have to be forced to go anywhere to please anyone if you don’t feel comfortable. Don’t be suaded if it’s not what you want .
In my experience, the anxiety about seeing the person is worse than just doing it.
I cannot stand my mum's boyfriend (with good reason), however, I am respectful and polite at family events because there's nothing worse than creating tension for everyone else.
You can't control you SILs actions but you can control your own, so hold your head high, carry yourself with dignity and model the kind of behaviour you'd want your daughter to emulate.
You got this!
If my partner didn’t care if I went or not, I simply wouldn’t go. But the fact he wants you to go, and it has been a long time by the sounds of it, I would probably make the effort. Just be polite and say hi to the shit SIL and go about what you’re doing. You don’t have to be her bestie, but just say a simple hi or make a simple chit chat for 2 minutes and that’s it...