I have a big milestone birthday coming up (my 30th) and I'm feeling really down about it. I'm a single mum with two children and very little support and no family as my mum has passed away. I'm lucky enough to have a small group of friends who are more like my family. I have single handedly planned my best friends 30th because her husband refused and i have had a hand in planning my other friends 30ths too. The reason I'm feeling really down about it, is because nothing has been planned for mine and each of my closet friends are busy around the time of my birthday. I was thinking a nice dinner or lunch, nothing too crazy. Call me crazy but I kind of wished one of my friends had planned something seeing as I have done to same for them in the past. Am i crazy for feeling this way? It's also my first milestone birthday without my mum which is why I think I'm extra sensitive about this whole thing. I'm just feeling really down let down. How do I move past this?
10 Replies
Just plan something yourself :) invite everyone, get it done. Don’t sit there dwelling that it won’t happen, MAKE it happen.
My birthday is early January, pretty much my entire life my Birthday has been overlooked or an afterthought, it's doesn't bother me anymore but I have learnt that if I want to do something nice, I need to organize it myself. People are always willing to come and I always end up having a nice time.
I just think at this time of year, people's minds are elsewhere, people are broke and they're focused on Christmas (especially if they have kids). Try not to take it personally Xx
There's a very good chance that as a single mum to 2 they aren't sure you'd have the time. Just mention to a few that you'd love to do lunch to celebrate your 30th and ask if they'll come. It doesn't have to be on your birthday if they're truly busy (and life happens like that), make it a week or two either way if necessary.
Sometimes life is unfair and sometimes people let us down but YOU are in control of your own happiness and if you want a party plan it for yourself and have the best time. I’m sure your friends don’t mean to make you feel that way and sometimes they might have their own issues right now, have you tried to talk to any of them about how you feel?
Original poster here- I took everyone's advice and planned a small dinner with my closest friends. They cancelled a few hours before we were meant to go. Thank you all for your kind words though xx
I'm sorry your friends let you down so bad. Might be time for some new friends.
I would also be letting them know that you're dissapointed. Just a little text or group chat saying something like "Hi Guys, just wanted to get this off my chest so it doesn't eat away at me, but I'm a little dissapointed by everyone's lack of effort for my 30th. It's the first milestone birthday since my mum died and I always put in an effort for your birthdays both with attendance and planning.
I'll get over it but like I said I'm feeling a bit shattered and not loved right now."
Good luck mumma. Do something nice for yourself. 😚😚
Well OP, I hope 2019 brings you more friends.
I would feel let down too. You obviously care so much about others and sometimes people don’t think of things as much as the deep caring thinkers of the world.
Do you still want to go out and celebrate with these people?
Or do you have some nice cousins or siblings or neighbours or family to celebrate with, that could also be missing you mother?
Adulting can be so hard sometimes!
Happy Birthday 🥳🎁🎈🍰🎉💐🥂
People are cunts. I hope you find a way to spoil yourself
If it’s not a surprise 30th being organized, you can plan one next year and send the invites out called “no-one gave me a surprise 30th, happy 31st birthday dinner”
I had a surprise 40th that my husband organized. On one hand I loved it, did the ugly cry, but on another note, people I wouldn’t have invited he did and people I wanted invited he didn’t invite.
Happy 30th
(I did a surprise 30th for my husband)