So I am not sure if I’m just super unlucky... but what is it with attending weekly sport... and no one talks or even smiles... week after week. Unless of course they know each other before? Is this a new thing?
So I am not sure if I’m just super unlucky... but what is it with attending weekly sport... and no one talks or even smiles... week after week. Unless of course they know each other before? Is this a new thing?
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10 Replies
Sometimes you have to make the effort and just put yourself out there. "Oh hi there, so which child is yours? Is this their first year playing? Do you have other childrem" etc... its hard to do but you all have kids, they are playing the same sport so BAM something in common right there to open up conversation.
Good luck!!
(And if you get little to no response at leaat you know you tried 😁)
I usually try get at least get eye contact before starting a conversation. But your right maybe it just takes an ice breaker!
I totally get that but like if one of the mums has a baby in the pram just be like "oh hello! How cute are you! What her name?"
Babies/kids are excellent ice breakers. But also keeo in mind some parents do get super engrossedd in the sport their kid is playing and do not want to miss a second.
I've had the opposite really
I had that experience when my son started school, all the other parents knew each other already and had their little cliques. I just thought they were all rude, so I kind of did my own thing. Eventually I did put myself out there a bit and made a couple of really great friends and I'm on friendly terms with most of the parents now. Looking back, i realise my shyness and discomfort with new social situations probably came off a bit stand offish. I think I may have been throwing off a "don't approach me" vibe.
On the other hand though, some parents just want to do their time on the side line without making awkward small talk, that's ok too!
Maybe find another parent who looks like they're dying of boredom and strike up a conversation lol.
In all honesty I'm one of those parents. I'm a single working mum and I'm constantly running around so at sports I just want to rest and watch my child play.
I used to be someone that used that time to play on my phone and just have some silence. Now I realise friends and adult conversation is important too and that's where I get it. There's been people who clearly don't want to make friends and people who are happy to chat, and who have become friends and meet socially. For me it starts with friendly hi how are you? And a bit of a chat and it will either develop naturally or not.
I think it all depends on the parents. My son has been playing soccer for about 5 years now. The first 3 or 4 years it was the same group of kids on the team with maybe 1 or 2 different kids. The parents were all friendly, we could chat, no dramas. This past season, a few of the kids got promoted to higher ability level teams, and a couple changed to different sports. I think only 3 of the kids had played together over the past 5 years. Of the 10 kids on the team there were only about 4 parents that I would chat with regularly. Towards the end of the season I ran into the mother of 1 of the kids who had moved teams, and she was really unimpressed with the parents of the new team. They weren’t friendly, they were constantly pushing their kid to do better, they were draining the enjoyment their kid may have once gotten from playing. She wanted to come back to my son’s team cause the parents were friendlier.
It’s a similar situation at Little Athletics. I wasn’t there a couple of weeks ago when a situation arose, with a father complaining to the centre manager that some of the parents of the 12 year old boys group were very cliquey and didn’t include everyone. Another mother piped up saying that the parents that chat each week are the ones that help every week, and then you have the parents like this father who never help. Those of us who help regularly chat as we move between events, it’s not as though we’re standing on the sidelines specifically ignoring people.
It’s hard to get to know people, don’t always take it personal, here are a list of reasons there maybe no smiles; socially anxious, shy, there to watch the kids, sick, tired, stressed, busy, not generally a chatty person etc.
Maybe they are not trying to exclude people but are talking to those who they know because that’s what’s comfortable for them.
I think we all get a bit judgey sometimes when people aren’t behaving they way we want them to. (I’m sure I’ve done it myself)
Don’t stop putting yourself out there, their are people like me who love to have a chat, but rarely initiate due to social anxiety.
Colour your hair a bright colour. It gets people talking sooooo fast